Unredeemable Sin
by Amika-Sanya
Summary: As we walk I start hearing screams. Others like me, others who have fallen so low with no way to redeem themselves. We will never be allowed back, we will forever be stuck in this hell on Earth. yaoi,torture. Don't like don't read
1. Chapter 1

My newest story! Yay! Please review if you think it's worth continuing. Oh, and there's a challenge at the end. Be sure to look at that!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters in this chapter.

* * *

_**Chapter 1**_

_ The tears slide down my face so easily now. To think, was it really so long ago that I would refuse to allow myself to cry? Was it really so long ago that I wasn't allowed to cry, that that sort of thing was looked down upon so much? My hands slide up to my face and I feel the tears run over them. My back aches and I am reminded of why I am crying. I look up suddenly when my sensitive ears pick up the sound of approaching footsteps. No! I don't want to be taken away again! _

_ I am forced to my feet and dragged out of the comfort of the familiar. My feet move forward of their own accord as the man takes my chains and leads me down the dark cobblestone hallway. As we walk I start hearing screams. Others like me, others who have fallen so low with no way to redeem themselves. We will never be allowed back, we will forever be stuck in this hell on Earth. I feel my back ache again and I let out a pained cry, the man laughs. Biting my lip I refuse to allow myself to cry out again. I know the pain that awaits me at the end of this hallway, and I believe I am ready by the time we reach the room. _

_ The dark stone door opens and the screams assault my ears. My hands go to cover them, but I can't move them because of the chains around my wrists and in the mans hands. He laughs again and I let out a small growl. I hate that laugh. I am pulled towards one of the posts in the center of the room. I force my eyes closed as the man clips my chains to the post so that my back is exposed. He rips off the thin fabric covering my back and I scream as the cold air hits my now exposed wing stumps. The laugh fills my ears again and I thrash around in order to see the vile man's face. _

_ "Feisty today isn't he?" _

_ "Yes Master."_

_ "Are you sure the new guy can handle him?" I listen silently to the trio of voices. New guy? There was a new guy in hell? The way I heard Vexen speak it sounded like they weren't sure of the new guy's skill. Was Xemnas really gonna make some new guy risk his life taking me on? I let out a smirk and then hissed when Lexaeus slapped my back under the old wing stumps. _

_ "Don't break him Lex. New guy hasn't even seen him yet." _

_ "Sorry Master" I heard Xemnas sneer and I had to hold in a laugh. My ears focused on the sound of footsteps. _

_ "Your late. Don't be again if you wish to keep your position"_

_ "Forgive me Master. I will be awaiting my punishment in my rooms this evening."_

_ "Good, you understand." Xemnas spoke. I continued to listen. The new guys voice was smooth, though he sounded bored and disinterested with all this. "You will be breaking in little Roxaselle here. The fallen are very feisty, so be careful." I heard more footsteps as most of the men left, leaving the new guy. I tentatively sniffed the air. Besides the smell of blood and fear from the other fallen I smelt him. He smelt of musk, he smelt wonderful. He smelt of **Him**. But it couldn't be._

_ He walked forward and I felt his fingertips run over my arms gently. The touch was like **Him**, the smell was like **Him**, he sounded like **Him**. His fingertips trailed down my left arm, over so many old scars, and towards my own hands. He fingered the crescent moon scar on my left hand and I involuntarily shivered. I heard his laughter, and it forced me to smile. So like **Him**._

_ "Roxaselle? They call you by your full name then?" I gasped as he spoke. It was **Him**. I heard his delightful laughter once again and I let myself smile this time. "I've missed you Roxas. It's all my fault your stuck here" The tears slide down my face freely now and I felt him kiss my shoulder softly. I shivered again and I heard him laugh once more. His fingers moved to touch my wing stumps and I let out a pained cry as he did. "They clipped your wings Roxas." he muttered and I let out a forced laugh._

_ "That's what they do to us. They clip our wings so we can't escape. They torture us so we're too afraid to, then they sell us off like common slaves. But you wouldn't know that huh, demon?" I make sure to lace my voice with all of my pain, all my contempt, all my hatred for him. Yet I know he can hear the love I still have for him._

_ "Your right, I wouldn't know that. But I do know they expect me to break you so your too weak to protest when they sell you tomorrow. You understand right? I'm sorry about this" I listened to him speak silently, and when he failed to do or say anything more I nodded softly. I knew what he meant, but if it was him it was bearable. I felt his hands press gently onto my shoulders as he lifted himself back up since he had been leaning against my back. I heard the chains being unhooked from the post and I bit my lip in worry. He must have seen me because I felt him kiss my forehead gently._

_ I stumbled a bit as I was led out of the room and back towards my cell. He opened the cell door carefully and helped me in. I heard a guard walking down the hall and apparently he did too because I soon found myself being thrown onto the small uncomfortable bed in there. I screamed as I landed on my naked back, letting myself tear up. He walked over to my side and I stared up into those emerald green eyes, as apologetic as they were, and I smiled at him softly. I bit my lip and looked away, forcing my eyes closed when he shed his clothing. His fingers touched my face gentle, wiping away my tears, and I knew he wasn't going to purposefully make this painful like the others would. His lips touched mine gently and I allowed myself to submit to the kiss, focusing on the feeling of his lips on mine instead of the pain I knew was coming. _

_ I screamed, loudly. The pain was horrible. Much more then I had expected. He didn't give me time to adjust. I heard the sick laughter outside the cell and I understood why. Of course, Xemnas was not an idiot and would not leave new guy alone with me. I felt myself start crying and I let myself continue. This was horrible. I had thought the whippings were bad, I had thought the cutting was worse, and I had thought having my wings clipped was the end of the world. This was 100 times worse then all of that, simply because it was **Him** that was doing it to me. _

_ Footsteps soon walked off as the guards left. The movement stopped, but the radiating pain did not. I cried out as he removed himself from me. It left me feeling both empty and horrible, and in more pain then when my body was trying to adjust itself to him. His lips slowly came back to my mouth and he delicately kissed me, apologetic. A single tear landed on my cheek and I forced myself to laugh. _

_ "You don't have the right to be crying" I could hear my own voice break as I spoke and I knew he could hear it to. I let out a whimper as I attempted to sit up, pulling myself up using his arm as an anchor. I noticed the chains had been removed from my wrists, but I didn't recall when. I kicked my legs to test whether my ankles were chained or not. They weren't. I felt no chains on me. _

_ "I'm so sorry Roxas. This wasn't supposed to happen"_

_

* * *

_

I sighed as I looked up at the sky. It had only been a dream, albeit a scary one. I pull my long golden hair over my shoulder and sigh running a hand through it thoughtfully. I hear the fluttering of wings as someone lands beside me. I looked to the side and straight into Sora's smiling face. He smiles brighter at me and I laugh a bit staring to the sky again.

"How did your meeting with Kami-sama go, Sora?"

"Kami-sama is very pleased with the development of shrines to him on Earth"

"But?"

"Kami-sama is not pleased with the growing war between us and the demons"

"Oh"

"Kami-sama wants to see you, Roxaselle.

"Great"

I stood up with a frown and sighed dramatically. I could hear Sora laughing beside me and rolled my eyes. He stood up as well and took on a serious look and suddenly I knew this was not good. Sure, I was in charge of demon and angel relations so it wasn't that odd for Kami-sama to request to see me. But Sora was too serious. Sora was never serious unless he knew something bad was wrong. I gulped as I spread out my wings and followed Sora.

Riku glared at me as we flew past him. The young guard obviously knew something too. Why did it seem I was the only one not in the know? Biting my lip I continued to follow Sora towards the throne in the center of the floating city where Kami-sama sat. When my feet touched the island of floating land I gulped. It was normal for Kami-sama to be guarded, but this was bordering on insane. A guard hundreds strong surrounded the throne, weapons at the ready. One thought flew through my head. They knew.

I approached the throne with my head down, as was customary. I heard the guards lower their weapons and had to hold back my sigh of relief. So it wasn't me they were guarding against. Sora cleared his throat beside me and I looked up silently towards Kami-sama. I watched as Sora took his place beside the throne on the right side. I watched the god smile as he set a hand on Sora's shoulder, using the young angel for support as he stood. This really wasn't good. Kami-sama never stood from his throne unless there was something really wrong.

"Roxaselle, can you tell me why you have been summoned here?"

"I can not Kami-sama."

"As head of demon and angel relations you have contacts in both Earth and Hell, correct?"

"As well as here in Heaven Kami-sama"

"Very good. It has come to my attention that a young child has been born on Earth."

"And this concerns you Kami-sama?"

"It does. This child is the reincarnation of a powerful god from when I was a child."

"What do you want me to do Kami-sama?"

"You will watch it, along with a demon of your choosing. The child will one day be powerful no doubt, and is destined to become the Demon Lord. Your job is to ensure the child does not become to powerful. We must be even in power if things are to remain normal"

"Yes Kami-sama. I will begin immediately"

"Arrangements have been made for you in the city that it has been born into. Rikuel shall accompany you to your new living arrangements."

"Yes Kami-sama"

* * *

I smiled as I finished packing up my belongings. Mostly my clothes. Riku stood behind me in the doorway waiting. I wondered what had him so upset and then I chuckled. He was probably depressed because of Sora's growing duties. I heard him sneer and I laughed again. I didn't expect the attack that followed. Within seconds he had grabbed me by my hair and pulled me backwards, pressing a dagger against my neck.

"And here I was thinking you only made it onto Soramell's personal guard because of your relation with him." I said through my laugh. I twisted my hand backward and pressed it against Riku's hip, smirking as I focused my energy into my palm. Riku screamed with pain and dropped the dagger before letting go of my hair and backing away. "Thank you. Now, I do believe it is time for me to leave." I smirk as I walk to the doorway with my suitcase, spreading out my wings.

I took off, listening as Riku slowly followed me. I could still hear him hissing in pain and I chuckled. I slowed down and allowed the other angel to take the lead.

* * *

Okay, here's your challenge. If you can manage to correctly guess the character that is the child that was born, and destined to be the Demon Lord, then you can come help me come up with Axel's extended name!

By extended name I mean like how Roxas is really Roxaselle, Sora is Soramell, and Riku is Rikuel. Everyone will have one, and I'll have challenges at the end of every chapter to let my readers help decide the other characters extended names.

Good luck people! And don't forget to review if you want me to continue writing this one. I'm very busy lately and I want to know if people are interested in this before I spend all my free time on it.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 is up already! Wow, I'm fast now. What can I say? I had inspiration and free time. Like always I do not own Kingdom Hearts or any of the characters, but I do want you to review since I work hard on this. It may not seem like it but I do. Nobody got the challenge at the end of the last chapter. That ones null and void now. There is a new challenge at the end of this one.

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_**Chapter 2**_

_"Roxaselle! Roxaselle! Where oh where are you?" I had to stay hidden. I couldn't let __**Him**__ find me. He'd turn me into Kami-san for sure. I heard footsteps and I had to hold back my scream. He was so close. Don't look to your left. Don't look!_

_ He turned his head and I stared straight into his emerald green eyes. He blinked and I gulped. One sigh escaped him. I stood completely still, tense. He didn't speak, he didn't move. He stared straight at me and I stared straight back at him. What was this feeling in my chest? _

_ "You should go Roxas. Before he decides to come look for you himself. Run Roxas, I won't chase you. Promise" He didn't have to tell me twice. I quickly took off running, but I stopped and glanced behind me at him. I felt a familiar tug at my chest and I gripped at my skin with a frown. I saw him frown as well, then he looked over his shoulder frantically. It took me another second to hear the horses coming. I pulled off my shirt and took to the sky after spreading out my wings. I couldn't allow myself to be caught. _

Wiping at my brow, I sit up and throw back the covers. Stretching my arms and wings, I frown. Just another dream. But so lifelike. I stare down at my left palm at my scar. The crescent moon stared back at me and I sigh. The pain in my chest still remains from the dream, but I ignore it as I get up to get dressed.

Riku walks into the room and I jump. I had forgotten he was still here. When was he leaving? I voiced my question and he shrugged. I rolled my eyes and continued to dress, making sure my wings weren't visible under the fabric of my shirt, I threw on a hoodie to make sure. I heard Riku exist and fiddle around in the kitchen. Good, if he was going to stay for a while he may as well make himself useful.

I examined myself in the wall length mirror in my bedroom. I frowned as I fingered my long golden hair. I'd have to cut and dye it. It was too long and too golden. It would stick out to much. I took the rubber band I always kept around my right hand and started braiding my hair. That would have to do for now.

"When are you going to bring whatever demon you'll be working with?" I looked up when Riku walked in with a tray of food. Well he wasn't in a bad mood anymore at least.

"He actually lives nearby, well a days travel from here by my average wing speed. I think it may be a few hours by car though."

"Ah! That's right. The manila folder on the dining room table has all the documentation you'll need. Birth certificate, id, drivers license, and medical paperwork. The contact if you need anything else has been added to the cellphone on top of the folder. There's a car in the parking lot. The keys should be in there as well."

"Thanks Riku. Can you leave now?"

* * *

I smiled as I looked up at the large mansion. I smiled walking to the door and ringing the doorbell. It was soon opened by the butler, who bowed quickly and escorted me towards the parlor. I smiled and soon relaxed leaning back on the old Victorian couch. Closing my eyes I waited. I soon heard a pair of footsteps and smiled. I opened my eyes and smiled when I looked up at him, meeting his emerald green eyes. I stood up and smiled bowing to him.

"It's good to see you again Kami-chan."

"What are you doing here Kami-tan?"

"I told you a long time ago that I don't want to be called that. My brother is Kami-kun, and I denounced my title I long time ago. Anyway Axel, tell me dear, have you become bored with this human world yet?"

"Of course I have not Roxas. Why do you ask?"

"I have a mission. Did you hear about the birth nearby?"

"I have actually. It was a friend of mine here, well her family anyway.

"Her? Have you taken a new lover already Axel?"He laughed and I smiled a bit, feeling that familiar tug once more. He shook his head and my smile grew for some reason, though I was not able to name the reason why. "Have you seen the new child yet?"

"No I haven't. I was planning on visiting this weekend though."

"I have a request to make. Will you return to the city with me? Kami-sama gave me the job of watching the kid. He believes it to be the reincarnation of another god. He told me to work with one of you demons since the reincarnation is destined to be the next Demon Lord."

"A child? A little child is destined to take my rightful position? Don't make me laugh"

"I wasn't trying to Kami-chan. I am sure you will one day make a great Kami-san."

"Stop the flattery Roxaselle my dear. It will get you no where but my bedroom, and you would have ended up there anywhere." I felt a blush color my cheeks and I heard him laugh. "I will follow you to the city, but first you must stay the night here with me. You'll have to share the bed with me, as my guest rooms are all in a state of disrepair" Or so he said. I knew his mansion was always in perfect order though. I didn't say anything though and just continued to blush.

* * *

My eyes closed silently and I let myself enjoy the feeling of his long and thin fingers running through my hair. They slowly massaged my scalp and my cheeks erupted into a blush as he leaned down to kiss me. I let myself surrender to him, my lips beginning to move against his. The blush on my cheeks continued to grow as I felt Axel's fingers move from my head and go towards my clothing. One by one I can hear the buttons of my shirt coming undone. He slid the garment off my arms and threw it to the floor to join the hoodie that was discarded shortly after entering the room.

He moves a bit and I feel lucidity returning to me. My eyes opened and met his emerald ones. The blush grew again and I had to look away. He leaned down and kissed my neck. My body involuntarily reacted, a shiver running up my spine. He bit at my neck and I winced. My arms rose up and pushed against his shoulders.

"Please..stop" I whimpered. He didn't hear me, or he didn't listen. I sighed and moved my hand to his chest, pushing harder. When he didn't budge I closed my eyes, focusing my energy into my left palm. Opening my eyes I saw the crescent moon scar glow just as Axel hissed and moved away from him. I breathed deeply and scooted up the bed, sitting up against the headboard. Axel slowly looked up at me apologetically and I just smiled before speaking. "How many times do we have to go over this Axel? A kiss in and of itself is too much. I'll give you that much, but don't expect anything more"

"Ah, my pure white angel is stubborn. You can't blame a guy for trying." I laughed at the playful look on his face, spreading my wings with a smile. Axel's smile grew and he moved closer to me. His head moved to lean against my folded legs and I smiled looking down at the young demon, my hands running through his spiky red hair. His own hand moved to run over the nearest feather on my silky white wings. He closed his eyes and I chuckled watching him. The tug at my chest resounded again when I stared at his peaceful face mere inches from sleep.

"Sweet dreams my demon love."

"Same to you my pure white angel"

* * *

_I forced my eyes closed. Anything to escape this. To avoid looking into the face I had grown so accustomed to. The face I had basically raised. I couldn't look up into his face. My wings ached, the sign of horror to come. I forced my eyes to remain closed even as I heard the creak of the throne I was kneeling in front of. _

_ "Look at me Roxaselle. I do not want to have to punish you for anything more" I bit my lip but looked up anyway, slowly opening my eyes. I stared into deep blue eyes framed by golden hair. I __wanted to scream, but knew not too. Axel trained him too well in how he should rule as Kami-san. He would feed off of my scream, it would fuel him. I looked down again._

_ "Kami-sama, how shall we punish this one?"_

_ "Send him to the torture chambers until I can decide. He is not allowed to have any visitors besides myself."_

_ "Not even Kami-kun, Kami-sama?" _

_ "That reminds me, Kami-kun must be punished for this as well." No! I wanted to scream for him not to touch Axel. He couldn't! Not after the risk he had taken for me, I couldn't just sit there and allow them to discuss his punishment. In the end I was dragged off before I had the nerve to say anything._

I screamed as I awoke. I heard stirring beside me and opened my eyes. I stared into Axel's face and smiled happily. He was here. He was safe. He was still asleep. Thank Kami. I flexed my wings and made them cover us both. I placed a gentle hand on his face and leaned over to kiss him softly, waking him up in the process. I had to admit he was adorable waking up, the way he brought his hands to his face and rubbed at his eyes like a little child. I knew at that moment that it was absurd, but I knew that he was the most important thing in my life right now. I wouldn't call it love, because didn't love require a level of intimacy I wouldn't allow him to have with me?

* * *

Axel stared at me through the mirror and I gulped. I knew this was a bad idea. I heard my cell ring and reached to go into my pocket to get it. A hand went to my arm and stopped me, shivers running up my spine. He traced his hand down my arm and took my left hand in his, running his thumb over my scar.

"Relax love. It'll be over in a minute."

"I don't want you to do it anymore Axel. Please don't"

"It'll be fine Roxas. I promise it'll be painless"

"I don't trust you, your a liar" I heard his laugh and I sighed staring at him through the mirror with a smile. I tensed when his hand left mine and he pulled the braid that my hair was in over my shoulder. His slender fingers started undoing it. I had to close my eyes and start counting in my head to distract myself. I heard the sound of scissors and gulped again.

"Roxas. Open your eyes"

"No!" He didn't say anything more but he did set to work. I slowly felt my head get lighter and lighter. When I finally opened my eyes he had finished cutting my hair and was now focused on styling it. I watched my now shoulder length hair transform into spikes and I laughed realizing how Axel was making me look like my brother. "I don't want to be a clone!" I protested and he simply laughed. He continued styling my hair and I soon smiled at my new appearance. It would still have to be dyed, and it would be a pain to style everyday. I liked it though.

"What do you think my angel?"

"I love it, I'm gonna miss my long hair though. Did you get the dye yet?"

"It's on the counter. I hope you like the color I chose. It's fairly normal, and it looks like the color of my butlers hair. I figured it would help explaining how we know each other if you pose as family of my staff"

"It's for the best. Lets get my hair done. How long does it does?"

"I got the salon brand, it'll take a while if you want it to come out right."

"Alright. Lets get started."

* * *

I frowned itching my scalp. I had to admit this felt odd. I was used to a heavy head, with long hair that flowed behind me, that I couldn't always feel the presence of. This was different. This was lighter, and at the same time heavy. I itched at it again.

"Stop Roxas. Your appearing nervous. That's not how Kami-tan should be acting."

"I'm not a Kami anymore, please stop saying that."

"Does it upset you Roxas?" I would never admit that it did.

"No. My brother will make a better Kami-sama one day I would"

"I look forward to Kami-chan becoming Kami-san. Anyway, don't be nervous. It's a completely normal family, and you'll be received wonderfully."

"A completely normal family that just happened to give birth to the reincarnation of the first Demon Lord." I said through a laugh. I heard Axel's laughter join mine, but he soon put a hand over my mouth to get me to stop. I sighed and smirked, licking his hand.

"I wouldn't do that again unless you're ready for the consequences." I almost shuddered at the tone of his voice. I looked towards the door and sighed. Were they even home? The door slowly opened and I smiled a bit.

The woman on the other side smiled pleasantly at Axel, they began to talk but I tuned them out. My mind was now set on the mission. Someone on the other side of this door was a baby and it was my job to basically raise it to rule the demon world. We were led inside and straight over to a baby bassinet. I stared down in it, meeting deep blue eyes and blonde hair. I could have sworn my heart stopped. The boy stared up at us, oddly aware eyes. Was it normal for babies to be so aware? Axel had said the baby was only a week old. I smiled softly after a minute. I could remember when Sora was this small. Father hadn't let me old him, he said I was still too small to properly hold a baby. I had fallen in love with my younger brother though the first day I had seen him, and when Sora was only 5 he had big dreams of what he wanted to do in the future. I could remember young Sora begging me not to give up my title, but I did anyway.

I felt Axel put a gentle hand on my back, over my wings, and I realized I had begun crying, which always made my wings quiver. I moved to wipe my tears away, looking up I realized the woman was staring at me oddly. I vaguely heard Axel explain to her that I was easily moved, and seeing such a cute baby must have triggered the tears. This seemed to please the woman who moved to lift the baby from the bassinet. She handed it over to Axel, I watched as the demon carefully took the little boy in his arms. I noticed then that Axel had cut his nails last night after I fell asleep. It as a good thing, the demon's nails grew so fast they would be able to easily cut the baby's skin if Axel didn't cut them again in the next few days.

I started as Axel went to hand the boy to me. I stared at the small bundle staring back up at me. I knew a smile probably covered my face. So small, so cute, so pure. No, the child wasn't pure. It was a reincarnation, the next Demon Lord. I looked to Axel and he simply smiled at me before turning to the woman.

"I'll be in town for a while, helping little Roxas here settle into his apartment. If you want to head into town for a while and have fun we can watch little Cloud here."

"Thank god! I've been trying to find a sitter since he was born. Anything to get out of this apartment! Can you guys watch Cloudie tonight?" I had to stop myself from laughing. Cloudie? Easily the worst nickname ever to get stuck with. Axel didn't hold in his laughter, I smiled listening to it fill the room. I looked down at the boy still in my arms, seeing he was staring at Axel with an odd look of disgust on his face. Axel looked down at the kid and laughed some more.

**_

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_**

* * *

Okay, explanation time. In my world the rulers of both the angel and demon people are both referred to as Kami (with all members of the family bearing the Kami title unless they chose to denounce it like Roxas did). They use the same titles, with titles reserved for the Kami's of the other race. You have to know who is talking to know which Kami they are referring to. Here is a list of titles and the meanings if you are still confused.

*Kami-sama is the ruler of your race

*Kami-san is the ruler of the other race

*Kami-kun is the heir of your race

*Kami-chan is the heir of the other race

*Kami-tan is anyone who is a Kami but is not the ruler or heir, this is actually considered a bad title and most who are born with it choose to denounce it

As you can tell, the future Demon Lord has been revealed. Also, more information about the angel culture and rules and laws in the next chapter.

Your challenge for this chapter is to guess how long of a time jump there will be between this chapter and the next. Prize is still the same, you get to help decide Axel's full name. Don't forget...reviews make me feel special.

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_For all my Arigato readers I do have good news. I am working on an update, so be on the lookout for that in the next few weeks._


	3. Chapter 3

Wow, really? Two updates in one day? First New Lease on Life and now here? I'm on a role.

Anyway, this is a short chapter but for good reason. If all goes according to the plan I have laid out then next chapter should be much longer.

Standard Disclaimers apply

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US US US US US US US US US US US US US US

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_**Chapter 3**_

Time never passed so quickly as when I was with Axel. I didn't realize it was passing until the doorbell rang one night. We were sitting in the living room one night on the couch, the TV blaring in the background, but we were enjoying passing the time with a card game called Uno. Cloud was on the floor at our feet, playing with some of the dinosaur figures Axel had bought him for his first birthday. Axel looked up at the doorway when the bell rang at the same time as I did. We sat silent for a minute before I stood up after sensing the person on the other side.

Sora jumped into my arms the second the door opened. The first thing I noticed was that his hair had grown another ½ inch since I last saw him. He smiled and playfully kissed my cheek before pulling away. I set my hands on his shoulders and laughed. He was still much shorter then me. He looked up at me and I saw his eyes widen.

"Roxas! You cut your hair! Why? It's gonna take years upon years to grow back to it's full length." I sighed and pouted. I heard Axel sigh behind me.

"You had to mention the hair Soramell? He's been whining about it since I cut it! I finally got him to shut up last month. Now I'm gonna have to go through another year of his depression!"

"You don't understand, demon! Angel hair grows very slow, and it's a sign of age. Only the oldest angels ever cut their hair, and that's only because it becomes so long it's unmanageable. To think that Roxas cut his beautiful silky waist length hair, it's horrible." Sora ran his own hand through his shoulder length brunette hair. I frowned and glared at him, going to sit on the couch again. "Anyway! I'm here for a reason, Roxas! Kami-sama wants you and the demon to come home for a while. He hasn't gotten any reports in the year you've been here, and he demands to see you in person."

"And he sent you because?"

"He's worried about you brother. Not as Kami-sama, but as a father."

* * *

I sighed and looked at Axel. He was obviously not comfortable up this high on the floating island. I longed to reach out for him, hold onto him until he got used to it. We were being watched though, much to closely. If I even reached out a hand to steady him they would probably swarm. The guards weren't at all relaxed with the laws regarding touch. Riku flew towards us, I could see Sora's face light up. Riku landed in front of us, bowing low before he addressed us all.

"Welcome home Kami-kun, Roxaselle. Welcome to our home, Kami-chan. As our special guest you will be treated as someone of your status would be at your own home. If you would allow my subordinate, Kairisa, to lead you to the house you will be staying in" As Riku spoke he gestured towards the line of guards who had landed behind him. I watched Kairi, a childhood friend of my brother's, step forward. She bowed lowly to us, and when she rose she expanded her wings. Axel slowly stepped forward and followed her off. Riku turned back to me and Sora. "Kami-sama is expecting you both." he announced.

We were led towards the throne, me and Sora. Sora took his position by the man's right side. I looked up at him and sighed, bowing. I stood up again and waited for him to speak. He didn't. I sighed, so I would have to start.

"Who are you right now?"

"Kami-sama"

"Very well. Then you want a report don't you?"

"It would be appreciated Roxaselle. I do not like my subordinates not reporting on a regular basis." I growled under my breath. Was I really only a subordinate to him? I felt myself stiffen, my left palm glowed. Sora moved quickly and stood between me and our father, grabbing my arm roughly. He stared into my eyes and I sighed deeply. His eyes always helped me relax. I heard Kami-sama clear his thought and Sora moved away from my side. I bowed lowly.

"Forgive me Kami-sama. I have been spending much to long with Kami-chan. He must be rubbing off on me. Surely a few days at home will have me back to normal." Believing that to be a sufficient apology I stood up again. "Anyway, my report. All is going well. The child is named Cloud, and his 1st birthday has passed without incident. The family trusts both I and Kami-chan enough to leave him alone with us. We often will babysit the child. Kami-chan plans to begin his training after the boy's 5th birthday." I saw him nod.

"You will be reporting in at least every month. I will give you a messenger dove to use for that purpose. As Kami-sama, that is all." He waved off the guards surrounding them and I watched as Sora relaxed and sat in his lap like a little kid. Sensing the relaxed atmosphere I allowed myself to slouch, my back hurt from being so still. Sora smiled at me softly. "Now then, as your father lets talk Roxas."

"What is it you wish to discuss?"

"I want you to tell me the truth Roxas. What is your relationship with that demon?"

"We are merely working together Father. When have you had an interest in my life anyway?"

"I've always had an interest in your life Roxas. However, you know how Xionera's family has been pestering me about marrying her off to one of you two. Sora has already found Kairisa."

"I have no interest whatsoever in that child Father. I will not marry a girl who is over 100 years younger then me."

"Roxas! You know Xion fawns over you" I sighed at Sora's tone. I gave him a little glare, warning. He wouldn't want me to tell Father the truth, would he? He seemed to realize, he looked away with a sigh. "Maybe you should leave Roxas alone Dad. He's busy now anyway. There is plenty of time to discuss marriage once brother's mission is over. Right?"

"I suppose so. Very well. You may go rest in your room Roxas. However before you go I have one more matter to discuss."

"Go ahead."

"The Lunar Ball is coming up once more. Your in charge of getting the venue ready on Earth. All the guards will be scheduled to be there, as usual we will be inviting the demons. The ballroom should be capable of holding the normal amount."

"Understood. I will take care of it tomorrow" I bowed deeply before walking off.

* * *

"Lunar Ball? Is that the same thing as the Solar Ball?"

"There's a big difference between them Axel. The Solar Ball is to celebrate the birth of Kami-sama and the continuation of the Kami line. It is a sacred event that only those of the Kami line and those dear to them, not counting the guards, can attend."

"And the Lunar Ball?"

"The Lunar Ball is to remember all those who gave their lives in the wars of past. It is a much less formal event and everyone is invited to it. The Kami's do not usually attend it however. The Lunar Ball is always held on Earth, since most of the wars have taken place there."

"Your in charge of it?"

"Kami-sama always places me in charge of both of the balls. It's tiring, but it's not too hard. Besides, you'll be helping me this time around. Then I won't have to deal with it for a few more years. Thank goodness they only come every once in a while." I turned to look at him after a minute of silence. He was focused on the sewing I had given him to work on, an expression of frustration on his face. He really was no good at handiwork but I insisted he needed to know how to patch up his own clothing. I watched him for a minute before laughing and taking the sewing from him. He was only making it worse. I continued talking with a smile. "You will help me right?"

"Of course, angel. Sounds like fun, so long as you don't give me a needle and thread and expect me to sew anything" I allowed myself to laugh loudly.

"Just be glad I'm not trying to teach you to weave. That was hell learning, let me tell you."

"Finish teaching me to sew and I'll teach you some more techniques, if you know what I mean" I growled under my breath and tossed the clothing in my hand at him. I knew my face was red but I didn't care so much. Nobody could overhear Axel and his huge mouth, they would get the wrong idea about us. They would think there was actually something there, and my life would go down the toilet. I heard Axel's laugh, letting the sound wrack its way through my brain, letting a smile grace my face. I blushed when I felt him lean closer to me.

"Roxas, angel, why do you keep rejecting me? I can see it better than you can. You know you want me, I can see it in your heart. Why do you not see it?" His voice was so strange in that moment. Pained, like he was trying to hold himself back. I sighed delicately and leaned forward, setting a gentle hand on his cheek. His eyes slid closed as I did and I could hear him let out a slight whimper. Demons were always so sensitive to touch, to love and lust both. I knew he could feel the truth resonating from my heart, all demons could feel the air of adoration that surrounded me when I was with Axel. I could feel the heat coming from my favorite fire-starter and I smiled softly.

"Axel. I won't tell you what I know you want to hear. I can't, I hope you understand that. If anyone were to know, were to even suspect, I would be done for," I stopped and sighed thinking. "Maybe after Sora is Kami-sama things will change. He's got his own secrets and he'll change things so he doesn't have to hide with Riku anymore," I bit my lip and frowned staring at him. I closed my eyes and stretched my mind out quickly. No one. I smiled at Axel softly and leaned in to kiss him gently. It lasted for a few seconds before I pulled away. "Come to the Lunar Ball with me. Not as a date but as a friend. You'll have to wear a tux though."

* * *

The lights shone upon me and I growled under my breath to myself. It was much too bright in here still. Why couldn't those stupid humans get the lighting right? I felt my hands tighten into fists and sighed to calm myself down. I turned around at the sound of footsteps. Axel was smiling at me gently.

"It's okay Rox. You're pushing yourself too much. Things are fine here, and everyone will enjoy it." I sighed and let Axel pull me into his arms, if only because there was no one else there. Sweet nothings whispered into my ear continued to calm me. I heard the massive double doors open and quickly pulled away. Nobody could see us.

I looked up as Sora skipped to my side and then appraised his outfit. He was dressed in traditional garb, looking like an Indian prince. I couldn't help but to smile at how cute he looked in the outfit, specially with the way he had his hair pinned up so that a few strands fell into his eyes. He blushed when I realized I was being appraised by Axel as well. Riku walked in then and glared protectively at Axel. Sora rolled his eyes and came over to my side. He leaned up to whisper into my ear.

"Father is in another one of his moods"

My eyes widened and I turned away from Sora quickly. I had to go to him. I gave Axel a look. He had helped me with everything, he could take over until people started arriving. Sora took my hand and I let him lead me out of the ballroom. Casting one last glance over my shoulder I gave Axel a small smile and wished him luck.


	4. Chapter 4

_**Chapter 4**_

When Kami-sama was sick, everybody who knew did their best to keep it a secret. If the lower angels learned my father was ill as he was the rebels would break out of their hiding places. The war would escalate, Sora would be forced to have to deal with it. That's why my father kept so little personal guards, only those that he trusted completely were even allowed anywhere near his personal quarters.

My father had been ill for a long time. Long ago, before Sora and I were even thought of, back when the world was new and ruled over by my father and my uncle he was injured. During the First War when my uncle turned on my father and the rest of the angels. The Demon Lord was born and killed during that war and my father wasn't able to walk away on his own. Now whenever under stress my father's body would begin to shut down from old injuries. His so called episodes were a result of him being bedridden and his old head injury acting up.

Sora and I walked silently into my father's chambers. As always I glanced upwards at the pair of black wings hanging above the bed. I shivered as I always did at the sight. I couldn't help it. I used to love the sight of the wings. I could remember standing on my father's bed as a child and standing on my tip toes to touch them, they were always so silky and beautiful. Then I had met Axel and seen the demon's wings. Ever since then the black wings of my long dead uncle scared me to death, every time I looked at them I feared for Axel.

My father was laying in the bed, his eyes drawn upwards to the wings. I could see the heartbroken look on his face and I sighed walking to the bedside. My father always got that depressed look when he stared at the silky wings. I didn't speak, sometimes his mind was so messed up for a time that he didn't know much and my speaking could confused him. His eyes turned to land on Sora and I and he gave us a small smile.

"You two look like twins. Tell me servants, do you love each other like brothers should?" I sighed at my father's words but nodded. He smiled softly and sat up straight with some effort. Beside me Sora was clutching onto my arm in worry. My father reached out and I moved to sit on the edge of the bed beside him. He put his hands on the side of my face and I sighed staring into his eyes with a concerned look. His eyes held no light anymore. I don't remember when the light disappeared from his eyes. Perhaps the day I grew up and he noticed I looked like my uncle. "Never let your brother go. You'll regret the moment you do." I saw a spark of awareness in his eyes. For a minute I wondered if he was truly my father in that moment or if he was back to days long gone when he was Leon. His eyes dulled again and I felt Sora tugging frantically at my arm. I stopped breathing for a minute until the light returned to my father's eyes and he looked upwards at the black wings. He smiled softly. "I had hoped I could see the day when those wings would stop quivering. Roxaselle, my son, take care of Soramell for me. Soramell, I can't wait to see what you do with this kingdom. Now that my brother's soul has finally passed on I'm going to retire. No longer am I Kami-sama, starting now I'm just plain Leon."

* * *

"Roxas love, please stop crying" I sighed and curled up closer to Axel's chest. My tears stopped flowing for the moment as I enjoyed the warmth of Axel's arms. Beside us Sora stood silently, rubbing his arms as he tried not to cry. Riku sighed and grabbed onto Sora like Axel was holding me. I turned to Sora then. I knew now wasn't the time to ask but I spoke anyway.

"Sora, will you be taking the role of Kami-sama right away?"

"Let the Council take care of things for a while. I'm in mourning" Sora whispered. He turned to Riku's chest and let the man hold him tightly. For now nobody was worried about hiding. They were upset, it was much more forgivable to be seen in another man's arms if it was for comfort. I watched as Riku and Axel gave each other knowing looks. Axel looked down at me and I watched Riku set his chin on the top of Sora's head. I could feel Axel setting his chin on my head and I sighed softly. Pulling away from Axel I stood up and turned to Riku and Sora.

"You should go ahead and leave." I said softly. As they left I turned to Axel and sighed snuggling into his chest. I smiled closing my eyes as Axel wrapped his arms around me. I looked up at his face and sighed softly. "For tonight, tonight only, I want to spend the night in your arms"

"Are you sure? You are still a virgin after all"

"Don't remind me." I said with a sigh. I looked up at him and sighed. "I never wanted to remain a virgin this long. It's these stupid laws."

"What if we get caught?"

"Right now is the safest time to do it. My father renounced his title. Everybody will be in a panic because Sora is not ready to take the throne. The Council will take over for some time, but they won't really have any power, if Sora or even I disagree we have the power to revoke anything they do. If we were caught, now would be the safest time to get caught." I didn't have to say anything else. I smiled as Axel ran his hand through my hair, leaning in softly for a kiss.

* * *

_I shuddered as I stood in front of the Council. My back ached again and I felt a strange feeling of determination when I thought of the horror my wings predicted. I could do this, I had to. Thoughts of Axel flowed through my head as I raised it to stare at the head angel in the center of the group. When he spoke it was with a powerful tone. _

_ "Roxaselle, recount now the sins which have been spoken against you."I bowed at the words, kneeling slowly. My knees touched the cold stone of the marble floor beneath me and I looked up at the dais of the Council. _

_ "My Lords of the High Council, above all but the Kami's themselves, forgive me for these sins which I have committed," I sighed and rehearsed the words in my mind before I spoke the rest, even I could hear my voice shaking out of sudden fear. "I have committed the sin of sins, I have lusted after a demon. This in and of itself is not my ultimate sin. I have committed the unredeemable sin of sins for which there is only one punishment. I have given into my lusts for said demon and for this I do not wish nor ask to be forgiven. I pray you will have mercy on me my Lords of the High Council." My back ached horribly, I could feel my wings trembling. I felt that this was the end for me. They were going to use the old punishments on me, and I would never live to see the sun rise above the clouds another day. One thought ran though my head. I had to live. _

_ The Council stared at me with their eyes small and black as I stared down at the hard marble. I gulped when I heard the scraping of chairs as the Council stood. Dainty footsteps sounded as Aerith descended the steps from the dais to where I sat knelt. She knelt down and placed her hand gently on my right shoulder._

_ "Rise, Roxaselle. Look into my eyes and tell me truthfully that you never meant your sins." I looked up silently into Aerith's eyes and smiled softly at the woman. _

_ "I will not sin further by lying My Lords." Aerith frowned at me._

_ "I do not wish to do this to you but you know the punishment." I bit my lip and nodded as she stood. Come sunrise I would be standing in the center of the courtyard standing on the clouds. I would be tied to that marble post and I would have to suffer through the worst pain imaginable as they slowly, ever so slowly, cut my wings from my back and left nothing but the stumps. I could already feel myself being pushed off the clouds, tumbling from the sky, down and down and down and down, never stopping until my body came crashing down hard onto the earth. If the fall didn't kill me, the demons would. _

_ Thoughts of Axel flew through my head as I was pulled to my feet and Aerith led me to the cell I would be sleeping in tonight. A single tear fell from my eye as I stared down at the glowing moon on my palm. I closed it into a fist to hide my emotion from Aerith. I would not allow her to know I was scared. I feared not for myself, but for what Cloud would do to Axel when he found out about this. _

I woke with a start, I could feel tears on my face. I could hear Axel's relaxed breathing and I let the sound comfort me as I pulled my legs to my chest. I set my head down on my knees and moved so that I could watch Axel sleep, a smile on my face. I allowed my wings to come out so that they would wrap around me, as if I could shield myself from the dreams. I was scared. Axel moved and I smiled watching him wake up.

"Why are you awake, angel?" His voice was low and it was obvious he was trying not to yawn.

"Go back to sleep, love. It's nothing you need concern yourself with" I laughed a bit at the sound of Axel letting out a purr at my voice and only then did I realize my tone had already changed towards him. Already I was so much more loving to him. He smiled and sat up just enough to catch my lips with his and I sighed a bit pulling away. "Go back to sleep Axel. It was just a dream."

"Promise?" I chuckled and nodded.

"Sleep Ax."

He smiled and curled up, though he reached out and pulled me down to lay in his arms. I blushed a bit and let him hold me. I sighed a bit and for now enjoyed the feeling of his arms around me. It was a warmth that comforted me to no end, and for now I would let my fears disappear. I could always ask Aerith about it later.

* * *

My feet resounded against the cold marble of the Council building's halls. I stopped in front of a large oak door and raised my hand to knock on the wood. I smiled a bit and knelt on the ground when I heard the locks of the door coming undone from the inside. When she stepped out onto the threshold of the door she held her hand out and I moved to kiss the back of her hand gently.

"Now Roxaselle, my dear, tell me why you have come to visit me"

"My dear Aerith, patron of dreams, I have come to seek your council. May I have come into your rooms and speak privately and freely?"

"Of course Roxas" I immediately recognized the shift in her tone and smiled looking up at her brightly. She wrapped an arm around my waist and led me into the room. I soon smiled a bit and relaxed on the couch she had in her private rooms. She sat in the chair across from the couch and smiled speaking up. "I have to ask Roxas, do you want to speak to me as Aerith of the Council, Aerith Patron of Dreams, or as Aerith The Beloved Mistress?"

"For now I need to speak to you about dreams"

"Fire away my dear"

"Aerith, tell me truly, when I was younger did I ever scream as I woke?"

"Why do you ask Roxas?"

"I need to know"

"Yes Roxas. When you were younger, from the day you were a toddler to the day your little brother was born, your night terrors would send you into a fit. You'd wake up kicking and screaming that the demons would get you, you cried out for your wings which you feared losing. Kami-sama was afraid for you, which is why he asked me to seal your dreams. Do you dream now Roxas?"

"Should I not dream?"

"My seal should be preventing you from dreaming. Only the most powerful of prophetic dreams should be able to bypass the seal. What do you dream of Roxas? Will you tell me? Surely if you are dreaming then they are prophetic and will come to pass in time. If you won't tell me as the dream patron then tell me as your mother"

"I can't Mama," I felt myself revert back to my old speech effortlessly. "I can't tell anyone of my dreams. All I can do is try to prevent them from coming true." I bit my lower lip and could feel her move forward to wrap me in her arms and try to comfort me. I began to cry, I could not prevent myself. I realized with fear that my tears came too easily.

"Oh Roxas my son. Do not cry." Her hands cupped my face gently so that I was forced to look into her eyes. "I see you growing up before my very eyes. Everyday you and Sora are growing and changing, slowly but surely. Yet I look into your eyes and it reminds me how young you still are. Are you really going to go back to the human world with that demon so soon?"

"I have to Mama. I promised Father I would do this for him."

"You will stay safe won't you?"

"I will." I took a deep breath and sighed a bit. "Mama, I have something to ask of you"

"Yes?"

"I want to go into exile. There is nothing here for me anymore, and to tell you the truth, I would feel safer if I did not have to return."

* * *

I smiled just a bit as I watched the white dove spread it's wings and fly ahead of me and then away as I walked along the cobblestone pathway with Axel beside me and little Cloud walking between us. To celebrate Cloud's 5th birthday Axel had taken the entire family out to the little historical village in the countryside.

Already I knew we would have to take Cloud away from his family soon. The young boy was already discovering his abilities to manipulate the fabric of reality itself. As an angel I could tell when he starting messing with reality and I and Axel would stop him. I knew up on that cloud island the Council had enough to deal with without having to fix Cloud's mistakes.

As I walked I slowly allowed Axel to wrap an arm around my shoulders. I could feel the boy look up at us and I allowed myself to blush while praying Cloud was too young to understand. Axel squeezed me closer to his side and I chuckled as I playfully pulled from his grip. I smirked and picked up Cloud before running off down the cobblestone path. I could hear Axel laugh as I ran while balancing the boy on my hip, a skill I had perfected in the 4 years since my return to the human world.

I stretched my mind out and smiled when I realized we were alone. I turned around and smirked at Axel before setting Cloud down, whispering in his ear with a smile of conspirators. The boy giggled at my words before turning around to run to Axel. Spreading my wings with a smirk I took to the sky, laughing to myself when Axel looked up with a stunned look. He could not leave Cloud alone on the ground or else he would have been coming after me by now. I smiled and looked down at the ground, giving Axel a flirty smile.

I would be lying if I said I was not bolder now. My time away from the strict rules and pressures of my home had mellowed me out. I no longer feared being caught with Axel. I knew Sora would soon be taking over and pushing the Council aside for a while. I would be completely safe then, and Sora would send for me and Axel both when it was safe for those like us. Those of us who committed the sin of sins would be safe under Sora, for Sora was just as guilty.

* * *

"You're gonna pay for earlier" Axel whispered again my lips and I felt a shiver run up my spine and into my wings. They quivered a bit, spread out under me along the bed. Axel chuckled softly and kissed the edge of my jaw, sending another shiver up my spine. He continued to laugh softly and I felt my body submit to him when he ran his skilled fingers over the inch of skin revealed from my shirt riding up a little. I had no doubt in my mind that this was heaven, my heaven. His lips touched mine and I moved to wrap my arms around his neck quickly, willing him to not pull his lips away.

My wings twitched and I felt an irrational fear creep into me. The room began to fade, no longer was I in Axel's arms. The redhead disappeared, I watched as his face transformed into Sora's. A panicked look crossed his face and I heard him scream out for me, for Riku. For anyone who would save him.

When I came to Axel was sitting beside me silently, a concerned look on his face. He ran his hand through my hair gently and then leaned down to kiss me when he saw I had woken. I sat up slowly and he reached out to help me.

"Are you okay Rox? You suddenly blacked out. You were screaming" I turned to him and there must have been something horrid in my face because his arms were suddenly around me so tightly I could barely breath. I released a breathy sigh and he let go of his tight grip on me. "You're not okay. There's something your not telling me Roxas. Please tell me what your not telling me"

I couldn't tell him the truth. I couldn't tell him about the night terrors I had as a child. I couldn't tell him about my nightmares that left me afraid to close my eyes. I couldn't stare into those emerald eyes that were looking at me in such concern and tell him that I knew we were doomed to fail. I couldn't tell him that they would find out about this, the sin of sins. I would be condemned and sent away, a place where not even he could save me. As I looked into solid emerald I sighed a shook my head softly.

"It's nothing Ax. Please go to sleep"

* * *

US US US US US US US US

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What did you think? Let me know. Oh, for those of you who are curious about the story of Leon and his brother, go read Under the Red Sky.


	5. Christmas Special

Well, heres a late Christmas special for you all! Merry late Christmas!

In my defense it would have been done had I not been dragged around on last minute shopping for the entire week before Christmas, and then had the family dinner on Christmas.

* * *

US US US US US US US US US US

* * *

"Roxas! The dove is here!"

"Let it in Cloud." I looked up from the sink as the bird flew in from the window on the other side of the kitchen. I sighed as the dove dropped a message into my open hand before flying to rest on Cloud's shoulder. The 10 year old smiled as he watched me, waiting to see what the letter was about.

We both looked up when Axel walked in from the back door, stomping out his boots. I growled under my breath when the snow went flying as it often did, destroying my clean kitchen floor in the process—I had long ago made Axel fire the cleaning and cooking staff since I preferred to be able to do everything myself, we kept the butler though. Axel caught my eye and he could see the look I was sure was there.

"What's wrong?"

"We have to go visit Sora this year," I heard him sigh as I continued to talk, "I'll tell him we plan to bring Cloud. He'll have to prepare everybody to meet him."

"No! Why do we have to go Rox?"

"Cause Sora is fed up with not being able to come over every year so he insists we come by this year."

"I want to go Ax! I haven't seen Sora since forever!" I laughed a bit watching Cloud stare at Axel with that pout. I counted off in my head—5...4...3...2...1. Axel sighed as he ran a hand through his hair and looked at me in defeat. I chuckled under my breath as I grabbed a nearby pen and scrawled out a note. I held it out towards Cloud, listening as the bird snatched it up and flew away.

"Now, lets get dinner served. Cloud, wash your hands and then set the table. Ax, get those damn snow clothes off and change. Stop tracking snow all over! After dinner we'll all go pack and leave in the morning after breakfast."

* * *

Sora smiled as he flew towards us with a bright smile on his face. He landed and immediately pulled me into his arms with a laugh. I quickly pulled away though and stared between him and Axel. He sighed and shook his head quickly, knowing what I was trying to ask. To confirm the answer Riku landed behind Sora, staying the customary few feet away. Sora turned his attention towards Cloud then, staring at the boy before going to hug him.

"You've grown so much! Have you grown your wings yet?"

"Not yet, Axel says they should start coming in soon though! I'm looking forward to it so much. I'm kinda wondering if I truly will get the black wings, I hope I don't. Roxas' wings are so pretty!"

"I feel insulted!" Axel said with a laugh. I smiled watching as Cloud turned to him with a sheepish look.

"Cloud, have you met my father yet? He is so looking forward to meeting you" Sora whispered with a smile. I stared at Sora and pulled him to the side quickly.

"Are you sure it's wise to introduce them?"

"It's Christmas, Rox! Father is in a good mood this year, and if he meets Cloud it might make him even happier. We should try" I sighed a bit but nodded.

"Very well. We can try after we've settled in. I'm sure you've got us accommodations?"

* * *

Father sighed as he sat at the desk in his study. He put his head in his hands, rubbing at his temples as I stood there in the doorway. He looked up at me.

"You're home Roxaselle. I'm happy. Why exactly are you here?"

"For Christmas of course. Sora lifted my exile order so that I could bring Kami-chan and Cloud here for Christmas"

"Cloud is here?" He looked surprised, almost scared. I smiled and nodded.

"He wants to meet you. He's out in the hallway right now, if you want I'll bring him in." I said with a smile as I walked towards the desk. I leaned over quickly to see what he was working on. Glancing up I had noticed that he moved the wings from above his bed into the study where they were sitting behind him.

"How old is he now, Rox?"

"10. Should I bring him in?"

He nodded. I smiled as I walked towards the door and opened it. Cloud was standing there with a smile on his face, innocence written all over his face. Those blue eyes quickly landed on Father, then trailed upwards to the black wings.

"They're beautiful," he whispered as he stepped forward towards the desk. "If my wings were as pretty as that I think I could live with them being black instead of white like yours Roxas." He turned his attention to Leon and smiled a bit.

"Cloud, it's good to finally meet you"

I watched as recognition lit up Cloud's eyes. The boy stumbled forward and banged into the desk, falling right across it. He jumped up quickly and stared in horror at Leon. I knew with that look that Cloud had recalled his past life, all the things he had done to Leon.

"I'm so sorry! You've grown so old Leon!"

"And you so young" Cloud laughed a bit as he walked past the desk and around to Leon, laughing more as he sat in the man's lap. I continued to stand there by the doorway until Cloud looked up at me. The look on his face scared me. It was the first time I had seen anything but innocence on that face, for the first time in his life Cloud gave me the look of a demon. I quickly stepped out.

When Cloud finally walked out he was rearranging his clothing and his hair was a mess.

* * *

"I hate this"

"Bear with it" I said with a sigh as I helped Axel into the traditional attire. For holidays it was customary for us all to wear the kimonos, which was a tradition I absolutely detested. Axel grumbled again as I went to grab the obi I had set on the bed a moment before. I shook my head with a laugh as I went to tie it for him.

"Roxas, I really don't want to do this"

"Please Sora this year and we can ignore him for the next 5. I think you like that idea."

"I do very much" I smiled a bit as Axel turned around quickly to plant a chaste kiss to my lips. I growled softly, warningly, before pulling away. He sighed a bit as he stared at me. "I guess you have to get dressed now?" I nodded quickly and grabbed the kimono that was folded neatly up on the bed, quickly walking out of the room.

I walked back in a few minutes later to see Axel had already passed out on the bed. Rolling my eyes I walked over to shake him awake. The man growled and swatted my hand away.

"Very well then. Guess you'll just have to starve" I said with a shrug of my shoulders. I smirked when he sat up quickly and was soon at the door. I had long since discovered the best way to get Axel to do something he didn't want was to threaten him with a lack of food. I held in my laughs as I went to walk over to the door and then out. Axel followed behind me obediently, a good foot behind me like I had warned him to do.

Sora met us out in the hall. I was surprised by the fact I was being treated like a guest, but said nothing as Sora led Axel and I out towards the Great Hall. Cloud met us on the way, supporting Father on his arm. When we reached the Great Hall, Aerith came running over and wrapped me in her arms, a smile on her face. She went to take Leon from Cloud a moment later, after introducing herself to Axel, and led Leon over to the huge dining table that had been set up. The other members of the Council were all already seated. Sora went to take his own seat while pointing Axel and I to ours. Axel sighed dramatically as he put on his best smile and turned to converse with a member of the Council. The young woman smiled as they talked. I ignored them as best as I could, choosing instead to focus my attention on watching Sora. My instincts as an older brother never quite went away, I was concerned for him being all alone up here. He seemed happy though, so I focused my attention on my food.

Cloud was sitting with Father, and Leon's eyes were for once focused and happy. Perhaps it was a good thing to bring Cloud up here after all.

* * *

After dinner a my family and I retired to the more relaxed family living room. A large Christmas tree had been set up by the fireplace, and I smiled seeing all the presents under it. Sora threw himself onto the couch laughing. I could hear Cloud laughing softly as he watched Sora before he went to sit down by Father who was on the old loveseat. Aerith had curled up on the floor by the tree with a smile, and it was a smile that I joined her. She went to grab one of the presents, tossing it over to Sora. I went to help her pass out the presents with a huge smile. I missed these kind of days, the lazy days with family that we used to have—just me, Sora, Father, and Aerith. It was that Christmas that I realized how much I really missed them all so much, how much I would miss them if they ever found out.

"Open it Roxas!" I jumped in surprise. I had been lost in thought and hadn't realized we were already opening the presents. I looked at the big box set in front of me, wrapped up in a shimmering golden paper. I noticed it was the only present wrapped in that paper and I smiled. It was a tradition in our family to put things is boxes that were hugely off size, so I figured the present inside was small. Sora was sitting on the edge of his seat waiting for me to open it. With a laugh I went to unwrap the box and then open it. Inside the huge computer box was a much smaller gold box, the kind they kept necklaces in. My face lit up—I'm sure—when I opened it and stared at the gorgeous silver locket.

Upon opening the locket I smiled seeing the picture of Sora as a little kid on the right side and a picture of Father and Aerith standing together on the left. Aerith took the locket from me, and picked up the left side carefully, revealing space for 2 more pictures.

"We figured there's space for whoever else is special to you in here." she said softly. I'm sure she was quite surprised when I threw my arms around her, tears of joy in my eyes. Sora jumped up and ran over to join in the hug with a laugh. I pulled away after a minute, wiping the tears from my eyes before taking my locket carefully from Aerith and closing it up. I loved it.

* * *

We returned home a few days later. I had the locket around my neck, the newest pictures securely in place, when we walked through the doors into Axel's home. Cloud was frowning behind me and the entire flight home he had been complaining about not wanting to leave. Axel set his stuff down on the chair and then sighed flopping down onto the couch with a tired yawn. He stretched his wings behind him, as I did as I stood in the doorway. Cloud shoved past me and went to go up the stairs towards his room, I noticed a strange expression on his face as he passed me—almost pained.

I smiled as I laughed and fell onto the couch on top of Axel. He groaned under me and I laughed even more as I rolled over to face him. We kissed quickly before I stood back up with a smile.

"I'll make us some dinner. Is there anything special I should make?"

"No thanks Rox." I smiled and nodded disappearing into the kitchen. About the same time I realized why Cloud's look might have been pained was when the scream from upstairs reached us down there. Cloud's wings were growing in. Oh yes, this was a very Merry Christmas.

* * *

"It hurts" Cloud whined as I went to roll him onto his stomach. Wings growing in were painful, oh so painful. Behind me Axel was pouring some wine into a glass with a smirk. He quickly handed it to Cloud—only after he had slipped in a couple drops of a liquid I had swiped from Sora when we were up on the clouds. The liquid was specially made to numb pain in those of angel and demon build, the mixture would help Cloud. The boy downed it quickly.

"There, stay on your front. It should be over soon" I said softly as I went to walk out of the room, with Axel following behind me. I sighed as I went into our own room and fell onto the bed. My wings ached as I stood up, going to put on a shirt and covering them. I pulled the locket off of my neck, smiling as I opened it and looked at the new pictures inside. Axel came up behind me, wrapping his arms around me.

"You chose a good picture" he said as he looked down at the little picture of us. I was laughing as he held his arms around me and his lips were on my neck. Cloud had taken the picture at a picnic that summer—you could see the huge apple tree in the park right behind us. The other picture was just him, young, like when we had first truly met. It was a picture of him with a huge smile on his face, his beautiful black wings spread out behind him.

"I did, didn't I?" I smiled as I moved to kiss him quickly. "Oh, Merry Christmas by the way"

"Merry Christmas"


	6. Chapter 5

Chapter 5 of Unreedemable Sin! I am on a roll lately.

If your a little confused let me explain something quickly. The Christmas Special has a place in the plot but it isn't one of the planned out chapters, so I'm not gonna count it in the chapter numbers.

Now, I have the rest of this story planned so much to the point that I've already written a special sequel for this story. I'll post it the second I've finished with this one. Look forward to that. I should be able to finish this one within 3-5 more chapters.

* * *

_**Chapter 5**_

_As I sat silently there in his arms my heart sped up. He tightened his arms around me when he heard the sound, or maybe he had felt the fear coming from me. His lips touched the skin below my jaw softly and I blushed. My eyes strayed towards his face and locked with the shining emerald of his eyes. Time was running out quickly for us. Any moment now he would have to release me and I would be left alone until Kami-san came and I was stuck with him and his rage. I felt my heart break and fear creep into me more when his arms unwrapped from around me. I leaned back onto the bed and let the stumps of my wings hit the plush mattress._

_ "When the midnight bell tolls I'll be waiting for you in the courtyard. You'll find me by the stone fountain."_

_ "I won't be able to get away Axel."_

_ "You will" he said confidently. I watched as he reached into the pocket of the jacket he was wearing. He pulled out a small vile with a strange liquid in it. The smell of coconut filled my nose as he uncorked the vile. The topaz colored liquid sparkled in the artificial light in the room. "He takes his dinner in here and eats with you right? Slip him this in his drink."_

_ "What is it Ax?"_

_ "Something Vexen cooked up in his lab for me. Kami-sama won't even know what hit him Roxas. Give him that and when he falls asleep come to the courtyard. I'll be waiting for you Roxas" Before I could reply he had left. I looked at the uncorked vile in my hands and sighed smelling coconut before I re-corked it. _

_ Could I really kill someone? Maybe, but Cloud? The man I felt like a father to, the man Axel and I had raised since he was young? The reincarnation of my uncle? The man my father had been waiting all his life to be born, to see those beautiful silky black wings stop quivering when the soul finally was reborn? I didn't know if I could do what Axel wanted me to. I started thinking and sighed. Of course Axel wanted me to kill Cloud. Did he really care for me at all or was he just using me to claim the throne for himself? If Cloud passed the throne went to him._

_ I held the vile in my hands tightly, staring at it with both what must have been a disgusted look and a contemplative look. I swallowed a bit and looked up at the doorway when I heard footsteps, quickly hiding the vile in my robe pocket. The door opened and I looked up to stare into the blue eyes of Cloud's face, the boy I had raised with Axel since he was just an infant._

The sound of the door opening in my room woke me up. I sat up slowly with a yawn and looked to the side to see Axel was still fast asleep. My eyes trailed to the doorway and I smiled seeing the little blonde boy standing there sheepishly, his eyes staring at me when he realized he had woken me up. His eyes were apologizing and I smiled at the 11 year old. His smile grew and he walked over to the bedside silently. Reaching out my arms I lifted him up and he smiled curling into my open arms.

"What's wrong Cloud?"

"Nightmare" the boy whispered softly. I sighed and ran a gentle hand through his hair. Seems like we were both having nightmares.

"Would you like to stay in here tonight?" There was plenty of room on the large King sized bed. The boy nodded and I smiled moving a bit so he could curl up between me and Axel. The redhead yawned as he woke up and stared quickly at Cloud before rolling his eyes and rolling back over. I chuckled softly and just watched both him and Cloud. I couldn't help myself from loving the young blonde like a father would love a child. I briefly wondered if Axel felt like this. I knew this would not end well however, if my dreams were anything to go by. I closed my eyes, dreading the dream I knew would fly into my head the second I fell asleep.

_The sun shone brightly on the clouds as I walked and I brought my hand up to shield my eyes. It __had been much too long since I had been here and the whiteness of the clouds burned my eyes. Sora __walked silently beside me, at least he was silent to me. I knew he was talking a mile a minute about the plans he had for this place, the plans he was already setting in motion with the blessing and help of the Council. I heard nothing though as my thoughts were thousands upon thousands of miles below us, below even the ground. My mind was on Axel. _

_ We walked into the marble hall and towards Sora's new rooms and his chamber. As we walked past the door to my father's room I couldn't help but pause before I turned to Sora. I wasn't gonna hide the truth from him anymore, not with him as sick as everyone was saying he was. Sora nodded quickly._

_ "I'll be waiting for you in my room" he said with a smile before walking off. I sighed and knocked lightly on the door in front of me. I heard a cough before a maid opened a door and ushered me in. I immediately saw how ill and old my father was becoming. This was why I was telling him. He would die soon, I did not want him to die without knowing the truth about me. _

_ I knelt by the bed and smiled as he set a gentle hand on the top of my head. I heard him cough again and bit my lip. I took his hand gently, kissing it softly before I spoke. I could never know in that moment that the words I spoke would be the words that sealed my fate. I crossed myself quickly with my hand before I spoke, ignoring the familiar ache in my wings. _

_ "Forgive me father, for I have sinned."_

**~US~US~US~US~**

Cloud ran ahead of us with a smile plastered on his face. I laughed a bit as Axel wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me flush against his chest and I put up a futile fight to get away. I saw Cloud turn around and laugh, cheering Axel on. When I heard him I gasped in indignation and stuck my tongue out at the now 12 year old boy. Axel laughed and teasingly kissed my neck. I felt myself gasp again and heard Cloud's laughter. My face erupted into a blush and I pulled away from Axel with a frown. I could almost sense the boy's pout as I looked up at the sky.

The dove. The beautiful white dove that my father had given me so many years ago flew towards me and I smiled holding out my hand. The dove settled on my wrist and I smiled seeing it had a small message tied to it's leg. I could feel Axel's eyes on me as I reached out to grab the message from the dove. I read it over quickly and turned to Axel with a sigh.

"It's almost time Axel. Sora said he got a message the other day from Hell. The rebellions are getting worse down there. Their Council can not handle it much longer. We must put Cloud on the throne soon." I said with a sigh.

"But I'll have to leave you here"

"I'll go home to Heaven when you and Cloud leave. Sora wants me home anyway."

"I can't stand the thought of not seeing you"

"It'll only be for a while Ax. Once Cloud is on the throne you plan to return to your mansion, right? I'll go there when I can get away. Send me a message when you return to the mansion."

"We're not leaving yet. I promise you Rox." With that he leaned down to kiss me and I smiled melting into the kiss. His arms wrapped around me and I smiled happily as my own arms went around his neck. I could feel Cloud watching us but I did not care. All that mattered at this moment was that we were together, and soon we would not be. I soon found that I was crying against the kiss and his arms tightened around me when he realized. I did not want him to leave.

"Axel, let me brother go." came Sora's voice from behind us. I separated from Axel unwillingly and let him wipe my tears quickly before I turned to face Sora.

"You send me a message yet you feel you have to come speak to me personally?"

"This is something different. You need to come home soon. Father doesn't have much time left, and I'm sure he would like to see you again soon. I don't mean to upset you Rox, but he needs you right now. Besides, Axelatell here should be working on the job I said needed to be done"

"If you couldn't tell, that was a tearful embrace because we both knew I would be leaving soon. You should also know that I don't like you right now" Axel said with a smirk. He turned to watched as Cloud ran over then and towards Sora. Cloud laughed as he threw his arms around Sora's waist.

"You should have told us you were coming" Cloud said with a pout. I couldn't help but to smile a bit, though concern flowed through me. The boy was not fit to be Kami-san. I saw Sora smiling this huge smile though and turned to Axel.

"I think we're babysitting Sora tonight" I joked with a smile as I leaned up to peck his lips. Axel smirked softly before turning to Sora and Cloud and ordering them to follow him before he went to walk back to the mansion. The boys laughed before they followed Axel and I off to the large house, and I listened into the conversation.

"Guess what, Sora?"

"What is it?"

"I've got my wings now! They came in after Christmas, when we got back from visiting you guys!"

"Oh that's wonderful! You'll have to let me see them once we reached the house"

"I think Roxas and Axel will get upset if we don't eat right away, don't you Cloud?" the blonde pouted but nodded, laughing suddenly as he took Sora's hand and dragged him off as he caught up with us. "Can you fly yet, Cloud?"

"No. Axel says I don't have to learn to fly. He says that I'm the Demon King! As such I don't have to learn to fly cause I won't ever need to. He says a good Demon King wouldn't leave the Underworld and leave his subjects behind to take care of themselves."

"Oh? Then ask him what the title 'Great Lord and Kami, Axelatell' means to him" Cloud looked confused for a second before he frowned and ran to Axel, leaving Sora behind. The little boy came up to us and tugged on Axel's sleeve roughly. He did ask, and I laughed at Axel's stricken expression, and the smirk that soon crossed his face made it obvious he was trying to hold the truth in. I jumped in to save him.

"Cloud, did you take the sauce off the stove when I asked you to?" I asked because I knew he hadn't. I had the stove turned off, but he didn't know this. His face paled and he ran off towards the house quicker then I had ever seen him run—not really, I had once done the same thing with a cake in the oven and he had ran even faster at the thought that he wouldn't be able to have his nightly sugar fix for a few days if the cake burned. As he disappeared I turned to Sora. "Why did you mention that! You know how hard it is for him to give everything up to Cloud! I swear Sora, mention it again and I might be tempted to drop an anonymous hint to the Council about you and Riku!" I wasn't kidding. Axel had to give his entire future to the kid cause Kami-sama had said so.

Everybody might of liked to pretend that the Kami's were equal, but it was all a lie. In the Schism Wars it was made obvious that the Angel King was the more powerful. Leon was the stronger one of the brothers. Leon would always win in the war...it was destiny. When the wars ended some of the demons had discovered a document that Cloud had written and signed, and without reading it turned it over to the angels. My father had took one look at it and signed. Thus it was official that he was the more powerful of the two. When I heard this story I found the document in the libraries and read it. The first Cloud had drawn up the document in the case of his forfeit from the war. It said that the Demons and the Angels were to be allowed to have their own separate governments and dominions and that the Demons would not interfere with the Angels. He said in the document that the Angel King was the original king of the unified nation, and as such should be given certain rights to rule the Demons. He was not an absolute ruler, but if he told the Demon King he had to do something—really ordered it—it would happen. He could not make laws for the Demons and he could not directly govern the Demons. Even so, the Angel King was officially more powerful then the Demon King the second my father had signed the document.

I frowned as I wrapped my arm gently around Axel's shoulders. The redhead was shaking with the effort to keep in everything as he went to walk back to his mansion. I frowned a bit as I followed after him, and went straight to the kitchen when I got inside. Cloud was calmly standing there stirring the sauce, having turned the stove back on so it would finish cooking. I walked over with a smile and looked over his shoulder.

"Looks good. Think it's done?"

"Yeah. Can I go get changed?"

"Go ahead. I'll finish up. Oh and Cloud?"

"Yes"

"Don't listen to Uncle Sora" I said with a small laugh. Cloud laughed as he went off to get dressed. Sora walked in with a smile and over to me.

"We should go home by the end of the week. Father will be happy to see you, and I know Mother will be too" Sora said with a smile. The ache in my wings made itself known as I turned around to face Sora. There was something in his eyes, like he suddenly knew.

"You know why I don't want to leave" I whispered. "Imagine if you were separated from him for as long as we will be. It'll be years, Sora. There will be years until Cloud is competent enough to be left alone by Axel, and you know I can't go down there. They would kill me before either one of them even knew I was there" I said with a frown. I could feel the tears come to my face, and I began to wonder if perhaps this feeling of dread is the same that women feel when their husbands run off to the army—wondering if he'll ever return, if I would ever see him again. Sora instantly wrapped his arms around me and I frowned, letting myself cry into my younger brother's shoulder.

**~US~US~US~US~**

By the middle of the week Axel was gone. He had taken Cloud down to the Underworld. He left the butler behind to take care of Sora and I. I didn't want to stay much longer. I was quickly packed up and ready to go. We left by the end of the week.

I didn't know when I stepped out of the door of that mansion and the butler closed t gently behind me, that it would be the last day I would ever see that mansion. It had been my home the entire time I was raising Cloud—the happiest 12 years of my life—and I was sad to see it go. I had to go to my real home though—it was destiny.


	7. Chapter 6

_**Chapter 6**_

We were welcomed back with open arms. Sora had to disappear quickly to do some work before he could show me around. He left me alone with our old friends. Riku simply glared at me before he pulled me apart from our other childhood friends. He bent down to whisper to me with a sneer.

"I see your apart from your dear demon lover"

"Shut up" I hissed, my hand resting threateningly on his shoulder. He glanced to the side at my hand, beginning to glow without emitting any of the powers.

I don't know where the power in my hand came from. Around the time my wings grew in the crescent moon formed on my left palm. Shortly after I discovered the ability to focus my energy into the scar in order to bring pain to people. Of course Riku was the butt end of my palm at most times. Every once in a while I would toss one at Axel for an idiotic comment, or maybe Sora for almost letting out the secret.

"You need to denounce him you know. If the Council finds out they might be lenient on you if you say Axel coerced you into the whole thing"

"The Council is not going to find out, Riku. And if it does I know who told them" I said with a smirk.

My wings ached as I walked past them all towards the old library. As I sat down on the stone steps I stared off at the large fountain in the center of the square. I was just a baby when this place was being built, and Sora hadn't even been thought of yet. I smiled to myself as I watched some of the little kids—not even old enough to have wings yet—playing around the fountain. With a sigh I stood up and went to go inside the building. As soon as I opened the door the familiar scent of dusty books greeted my nose and the sound of Zexion's breath-like gasp at seeing me.

"Master Roxaselle! You've returned. If I had known you would be coming back I would have laid out the new books for you to see"

"No stress, Zex. I just came in to see how you were doing. Also, how has the store been doing?"

"Why would people use the store when they have the library? That's what I thought when you proposed opening the store so many years ago. However...the profit from the store has increased drastically since you left. More and more angels have been publishing their books for the store to sell. There's actually one that somebody wanted to publish but I figured I would need the okay of a Kami to publish."

"Oh? Let me see" I said with a smile. Zexion nodded and disappeared quickly into the backroom behind the large checkout desk by the door. I stood there waiting and then smiled again when he came out and handed me a nice leather bound book. That would be the personal copy that was always published for the author to keep. Must not have come to pick it up yet. I opened it up and started skimming through. As I read my eyes widened and I began to blush, quickly closing the book. "It's a good thing you didn't put the author's name on that book Zexion. If the Council finds it the person could get in trouble. Mind telling me who wrote it?"

Zexion smiled as he leaned over the counter to whisper a name. My eyes widened slightly. I never thought innocent, crazy Demyx would be able to write such a book. I glanced down at the book and then opened it again, reading with an editor's eye.

"Alright, let me tell you what we'll do with this. I'll stop by Dem's place later and drop the book off. I'll work with him to trim the risque parts enough that it's not so bawdy. When we print it we'll leave the name off and credit it to Anonymous. With no one to go after the Council will leave the book alone." Zexion nodded silently as he then went to tend to an angel standing by the counter waiting to check out a stack of books. I soon went to go behind the counter and into the backroom. There was a shelf of leather bound books—reference copies that Zexion kept of every book he published—on the right wall and the left wall held a large built in cabinet that I knew held books that were waiting to be copied and published. There was a large rack beside the printing press—an old Gutenberg style press. Zexion didn't do all the printing because he didn't have the strength the use the hand press, so instead I did it or he hired somebody to do it. I walked over to the bookshelf and grabbed one of the newer books. I glanced at the author's name on the spine of the book and tried to match the name to a face.

"It's a relatively young author. You wouldn't know her." I nodded, realizing that his words were the first thing that reminded me of how long I had truly been gone. 12 years wasn't long to an immortal until it came time to see everything that happened in that time period. "Anyway, Kami-sama is outside waiting for you. I told him you would be right out" I nodded and smiled as I grabbed a handful of books off the shelf and went to get a bag from behind the counter after exiting the backroom.

I walked out to the fountain and smiled at Sora. He was sitting on the edge with a smile, his wings released and flowing out behind him in the gentle wind. The kids were staring in wonder at the brunette angel. When Sora accepted the Kami title his wings grew in reaction to the power, they were huge and vibrantly white now. He smiled happily at me and stood up.

"Let's go home, Rox."

The sun shone brightly on the clouds as I walked and I brought my hand up to shield my eyes. It had been much too long since I had been here and the whiteness of the clouds burned my eyes. Sora walked silently beside me, at least he was silent to me now that I focused my attention on my thoughts. I knew he was talking a mile a minute about the plans he had for this place, the plans he was already setting in motion with the blessing and help of the Council. I heard nothing though as my thoughts were thousands upon thousands of miles below us, below even the ground. My mind was on Axel. I realized how much now I had missed this place, but I still knew I missed Axel more and it had been a day or two that we were separated.

We walked into the marble hall and towards Sora's new rooms and his chamber. As we walked past the door to my father's room I couldn't help but pause before I turned to Sora. I wasn't gonna hide the truth from him anymore, not with him as sick as everyone was saying he was. Sora nodded quickly, though his eyes seemed to be warning me not to tell him. How he seemed to know I was going to, I don't know.

"I'll be waiting for you in my room" he said with a smile before walking off. I sighed and knocked lightly on the door in front of me. I heard a cough before a maid opened a door and ushered me in. I immediately saw how ill and old my father was becoming. This was why I was telling him. He would die soon, I did not want him to die without knowing the truth about me. I turned to the maid and waved her out quickly.

I knelt by the bed and smiled as he set a gentle hand on the top of my head. I heard him cough again and bit my lip. I took his hand gently, kissing it softly before I spoke. I crossed myself quickly with my hand before I spoke—a habit I had picked up on Earth from when Cloud was going through his religious phase and dragged us off to church—and ignored the familiar ache in my wings.

"Forgive me father, for I have sinned." I glanced up at him to see his reaction. His eyes silently told me to continue. So I did. I told him everything about Axel and I. From the very beginning—the very day Axel and I had met so many years before Cloud was born. The day when we were still very young and had stumbled upon each other on Earth. That day Axel had kissed me—I was still so young that I didn't understand at the time it was wrong—then flew away with a chuckle allowing those majestic black wings to first entered my memory. I told him every other time we would meet, and even of the time right before he gave me my mission to take care of Cloud. I told him about how scared I had been when I saw all the guards, scared that they had found out about us. I told him about our first time—the night he renounced his title. I could see the horror crossing his eyes, and I then knew this would all end soon. I could just tell by the way his eyes were that he was gonna tell somebody.

I soon stood up and excused myself. As I walked to the door the maid reentered to check on my father. I silently began to pray that he would not tell anybody as I walked out and down the hall to Sora's room. I knew it was a futile effort but I didn't care. In that moment even thoughts of Axel did not enter my head, for I was focused on blocking out the searing pain in my wings as the maid scurried past me. I held in my gasp as I stared at her back. The maids knew everything—she had probably listened in at the door to my father's room.

~~!~!~!~!~!~!~~

I shifted the bag on my shoulder as I went to knock on the door to the small house. There was a loud bang inside and then cursing. I couldn't help but to laugh when Demyx opened the door and was wearing nothing but a sheet around his waist. I had forgotten Demyx slept naked. The blonde yawned as he rubbed the back of his neck.

"Rox! You couldn't call first? I..I have company" he said nervously. I raised an eyebrow and moved my head a bit so I could see past him. I saw Zexion sitting stunned on the couch, a blanket covering his waist. Demyx frowned and turned to me. "You can't tell anyone!" he suddenly said, horror in his eyes.

"I don't plan to." I said softly as I went to walk past him and inside. "I suggest you two get dressed so we can get to work" I said. They both laughed nervously before searching out their clothes among everything that was on the floor. I simply went to sit down on the armchair and got out the copy of the book that had been made for Demyx. When they were dressed, the two sat down together on the couch. Zexion stared down at the ground nervously, not speaking the whole time Demyx and I poured over his manuscript and figured out ways to trim it down. The elder blonde excused himself after a while to make lunch. Zexion looked up and spoke quickly.

"I wanted to tell you about us." he said softly. He was one of the few people who knew about Axel and I. When I was a kid Zexion had been a teenager and been in charge of me at times. He had been the one to explain to me that kissing another man was taboo and I should never let myself be caught with Axel. He had supported me, and I learned when I was older it was because he had the same feelings towards Demyx. They had never been fruitful because Zexion had always been too shy and too scared to do anything. Which is why I just had to ask him how it had happened. He blushed before answering. "When he brought his manuscript in he insisted that I read it there. He said the blush on my cheeks so cute, and before I knew what I was doing I had gone to kiss him. I ended up closing the library early and we went into the backroom together."

"Oh eww! You couldn't warn me you had done the nasty back there!" I screamed with a laugh, hitting Zexion on the shoulder. Demyx walked back in with a tray of sandwiches, raising an eyebrow when he heard me. Zexion blushed and looked down at the ground again.

It was then that it happened. The knock on the door was loud and demanding, and it had the two in the room frozen in place. My back erupted out in pain that came from my wings, so much that I screamed from it. They were here for me! I forced myself to stand up through the fire and cross over to the door. I opened it slowly and stared into the face of the guard at the front of the group.

"Roxaselle, you are arrested under the accusation of sins concerning a male demon named Axel." As the guards took my roughly from the doorway they cuffed my hands together behind my back. I searched the group, catching Riku's eyes. I saw my own fear reflected in his eyes. We both took a risk, and now I was paying for mine. I dared to be naive enough to believe that nothing would happen when I admitted everything out loud. As they dragged me off I could feel Riku's eyes follow me.

~~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~~

I shuddered as I stood in front of the Council. My back ached again and I felt a strange feeling of determination when I thought of the horror my wings predicted. I could do this, I had to. Thoughts of Axel flowed through my head as I raised it to stare at the head angel in the center of the group. When he spoke it was with a powerful tone.

"Roxaselle, recount now the sins which have been spoken against you." I bowed at the words, kneeling slowly. My knees touched the cold stone of the marble floor beneath me and I looked up at the dais of the Council.

"My Lords of the High Council, above all but the Kami's themselves, forgive me for these sins which I have committed," I sighed and rehearsed the words in my mind before I spoke the rest, even I could hear my voice shaking out of sudden fear. "I have committed the sin of sins, I have lusted after a demon. This in and of itself is not my ultimate sin. I have committed the unredeemable sin of sins for which there is only one punishment. I have given into my lusts for said demon and for this I do not wish nor ask to be forgiven. I pray you will have mercy on me my Lords of the High Council." My back ached horribly, I could feel my wings trembling. I felt that this was the end for me. They were going to use the old punishments on me, and I would never live to see the sun rise above the clouds another day. One thought ran though my head—I had to live.

The Council stared at me with their eyes small and black as I stared down at the hard marble. I gulped when I heard the scraping of chairs as the Council stood. Dainty footsteps sounded as Aerith descended the steps from the dais to where I sat knelt. She knelt down and placed her hand gently on my right shoulder.

"Rise, Roxaselle. Look into my eyes and tell me truthfully that you never meant your sins." I looked up silently into Aerith's eyes and smiled softly at the woman. I could not lie to my Mother, even if it would cost me my life.

"I will not sin further by lying My Lords." Aerith frowned at me.

"I do not wish to do this to you but you know the punishment." I bit my lip and nodded as she stood. If the fall didn't kill me, the demons would.

Thoughts of Axel flew through my head as I was pulled to my feet and Aerith led me to the cell I would be sleeping in tonight. A single tear fell from my eye as I stared down at the glowing moon on my palm. I closed it into a fist to hide my emotion from Aerith. I would not allow her to know I was scared. I feared not for myself, but for what Cloud would do to Axel when he found out about this. He would be forced to act by the Council. Aerith led me silently down the halls.

When we reached the room she opened the stone door and pushed me in. She took the cuffs from my hands and kissed my cheek gently. I could feel the wetness on her cheeks as she pulled away from me. The door closed silently and I crossed to the window of my cell. It was a small square designed to ventilate the room and give enough of a view to angels in the cell so that they knew what they were losing while they waited for their death. I stared up at the moon and let my thoughts travel to Axel, a prayer passing my lips for the redheaded demon I loved.

Shortly after I had met Axel I had seen my fate—though I didn't know it at the time. It was in the form of a boy not much older then I was at the time. His wings had just grown, they were still so small. The Council had declared he was to die, publicly. When dawn arrived we were all brought to the edge of town. There was a pole that had been built there before the first Schism War. The boy was tied to it, his back exposed and his wings out. The boy's wings were cut off, slowly, ever so slowly. Every pull and movement of the dagger caused him to erupt into screams—screams that tore my heart into pieces and placed fear into my vocabulary. When the wings were finally gone he had long since stopped screaming, and blood poured from his back. He was untied and lifted into the arms of the head angel, who walked to the edge of the clouds and simply let the boy go. He fell, fell to his death. The boy's name was Van, and he had been caught having sex with a man named Ventus—a demon.

I got no sleep that night as I waited for dawn to arrive—and with it my death. The worst part about knowing your going to die is the wait.


	8. Chapter 7

_**Chapter 7**_

I stared up at the sun as it rose above the clouds. I ignored the fact that thousands of pairs of eyes were on my back as I was tied up to the pole. I turned around to stare at the crowd, catching Sora's eyes. He was about to cry, and I knew how much this much hurt him to have to watch. The one thing the Kami's had no say in was the punishments issued by the Council. He stared down at the ground then, avoiding having to look at my eyes. I knew somewhere in that crowd Zexion and Demyx stood. Zexion's fear probably had him standing yards away from Demyx, and the blonde's naivety probably had him longing to comfort the lilac haired man. Riku was in that crowd too, most likely working hard to keep his face stoic while he prepared for my screams.

But I wouldn't scream. I saw _him_, and for _him_ I would not scream. There was no doubt in my mind he had fled as soon as he heard news of me, so that he could see me one last time. As I scanned the crowd I had caught sight of his flaming hair and his emerald eyes. He was obviously hiding, and so I kept my face emotionless as I turned away from him.

I heard the footsteps behind me. I heard the dagger being removed from it's sheath. I could smell the dried iron of the blood that remained on the dagger. I heard the crowd holding their breath, waiting in anticipation. They were like the spectators at a beheading—a strange tradition that had it's roots in the old days of the European kingdoms. Only this wasn't a beheading—no—a beheading was much more swift and painless then what was about to happen to me.

The pain was like a fire, only fires all go out eventually. This pain was never ending, it was building with each and ever passing second. I squirmed to get away from the blade ravaging my wings, but each movement of my body caused me to nearly scream out in pain. I let nothing pass through my lips but my own labored breathing. The warm red liquid that calls itself blood began to pour down my back. What felt like hours passed, but I knew it was not but minutes. My soul screamed out for someone to save me as I felt my back grow lighter. The gentle thud as the wing fell to the ground told me why, and within minutes the other wing joined it's twin. I was crying by now as I felt myself being untied from the pole. I did not—could not—move as my bindings were released. I just fell as a crumpled up mess at the feet of my executioner. He bent down to lift me into his arms, moving to the edge of the clouds. He released me and I fell.

~!~!~!~!~

My eyes opened slowly and I wondered why I was in so much pain. I sat up slowly, groaning out. I felt pain, which meant I was still alive. I suddenly cried out in joy. I was alive! I stood up slowly, even more so then when I had sat up, and began to look around me. Where was I? I was surrounded by trees and other plants. With a sigh I followed my instincts and walked north.

I emerged from the woods after about 20 minutes of walking. There was a large field separating the woods and the road. I smiled then—for I knew where I was. This wasn't far from where I was first met Axel. The man's house wasn't far from here. I could go to the mansion, the butler would take care of me until I was well. With a determined smile I set off towards the mansion.

The butler quickly ushered me in. I stumbled up the steps with his help, going straight for the bed I used to share with Axel. I laid on my stomach as the butler went to get some bandages for my back. He told me that my wing stumps had been pulled out entirely, which explained why I was in such a large amount of pain. I blanked out to the world then, crying silently into the pillow as my back was tended to. I had decided I would not stay here. As soon as I was well enough to travel more I would leave. If Axel came back I did not want him to see me. He surely thought I was dead now—let him remember me as the boy who did not cry out for help as he was being killed. I quickly told the butler not to tell Axel I had been here once I left.

It's a shame it was a useless request.

"You're alive" Axel was stunned as he walked in. I turned quickly to face him, tears still in my eyes as he rushed forward to pull me into his arms. I cried out at the pain of the hug, but still pulled myself closer to him. "I love you so much" Axel said before he kissed me. When he pulled away it was because I was crying so much. "You will stay here. I have to go back to Cloud. You will stay. Please tell me you won't leave"

"I won't leave Axel" I promised softly.

~!~!~!~!~

Years passed. I quite literally never left the mansion. Axel hired more workers for the mansion to take care of me. The butler did all the shopping for us, and the maids did all the cleaning. There was a cook for us, and whenever Axel found the time he would come back. I was in hiding, I understood that. If any of the angels found out I was alive they would turn me in. Every member of the new staff was a fallen. I found out they were like me, they had all survived the torture.

I lost track of time, but eventually what I knew would happen happened. Axel let it slip one day to Cloud. The man had become too used to his position, turning me in to the demons who were in charge of taking care of people like me. My wings had grown in again by then, so I was able to flee. I flew to the country, but I was being chased.

Axel was the one chasing me. Cloud had gotten to him.

"Roxaselle! Roxaselle! Where oh where are you?" I had to stay hidden. I couldn't let him find me. He'd turn me into Kami-san for sure. I heard footsteps and I had to hold back my scream. He was so close. Don't look to your left. Don't look!

He turned his head and I stared straight into his emerald green eyes. He blinked and I gulped. One sigh escaped him. I stood completely still, tense. He didn't speak, he didn't move. He stared straight at me and I stared straight back at him. What was this feeling in my chest?

"You should go Roxas. Before he decides to come look for you himself. Run Roxas, I won't chase you. Promise" He didn't have to tell me twice. I quickly took off running, but I stopped and glanced behind me at him. I felt a familiar tug at my chest and I gripped at my skin with a frown. I saw him frown as well, then he looked over his shoulder frantically. It took me another second to hear the horses coming. I pulled off my shirt and took to the sky after spreading out my wings. I couldn't allow myself to be caught. I stared over my shoulder at Axel, trying not to cry before I flew off. I was being chased by the men on horseback though, and soon more took to the skies to grab me. I was brought down quickly, my new wings not yet used to flight. They dragged me down to the ground, and I felt myself being phased through the ground to the Underworld below. I blacked out, and when I came too and I was in front of the throne in the castle.

Cloud demanded that I look up at him. I forced my eyes closed. I couldn't look up into his face. My wings ached, the first time for this pair. I forced my eyes to remain closed even as I heard the creak of the throne I was kneeling in front of.

"Look at me Roxaselle. I do not want to have to punish you for anything more" I bit my lip but looked up anyway, slowly opening my eyes. I stared into deep blue eyes framed by golden hair—now an adult. I wanted to scream, but knew not too. Axel trained him too well in how he should rule as Kami-san. He would feed off of my scream, it would fuel him. I looked down again.

"Kami-sama, how shall we punish this one?"

"Send him to the torture chambers until I can decide. He is not allowed to have any visitors besides myself."

"Not even Kami-kun, Kami-sama?"

"That reminds me, Kami-kun must be punished for this as well." No! I wanted to scream for him not to touch Axel. He couldn't! Not after the risk he had taken for me—not after everything we both had done for him—I couldn't just sit there and allow them to discuss his punishment. In the end I was dragged off before I had the nerve to say anything.

~!~!~!~!~

I don't know how long I've been here. Every moment of my life in this dungeon is the same. Darkness. My wings constantly ache, and every time one of the guards pass by the door to my cell my back erupts into pain. I know what they're doing. They're waiting. They are waiting for my wings to grow stronger again, as strong as my first pair was. I know this, because I can hear the screams. I can hear the screams of the other fallen, having their wings torn off. I know it will be me again soon. For some reason though, I couldn't bring myself to care. Why should I? At least the pain would be something different.

Then the torture began. They had fun with me, all the guards. The dungeon was run by Xemnas, an old demon who had been born before even my father and had been a leader of the demon troops during the Schism War. He knew how to cause pain, he knew how to cause people to cry out—and he fed off of their cries. He never got his own hands dirty, having hired a few people to work in the dungeons and the torture chamber. Vexen was one of them. He was a scientist, he used us as subjects in experiments. Lexaeus was a silent but strong demon who used his strength to hurt us in the most horrific of ways. There were others, but these were the worst.

Months more passed. I was whipped daily, scars were left on me from knifes. There were torture devices in the chamber—the kinds that were used daily during the various Inquisitions in human history. There were constantly burns on my stomach and back from boiling water and oil, luckily I was able to avoid the pear.

But then came the day when they tore off my wings. It was worse then the first time. I could not hold back my cries this time. Xemnas's horrible face lit up with every cry that passed through my lips, and with every cry the knife dug deeper into my skin as Lexaeus quite literally dug to remove my wings. That's what it felt like anyway. I learned later that night when they threw me onto the bed in my cell that they had left the stumps of my wings there—every time I laid down or moved I could feel the stumps crying out in pain and I knew my wings would not grow back unless the stumps were removed.

I frowned as I sat in my cell one night after that. I was crying. The tears slid down my face so easily. To think, was it really so long ago that I would refuse to allow myself to cry? My hands slid up to my face and I could feel the tears run over them. I looked up suddenly when my sensitive ears picked up the sound of approaching footsteps.

I was forced to my feet and dragged out of the comfort of the familiar. My feet moved forward of their own accord as the man took my chains and led me down the dark cobblestone hallway. As we walked I started hearing screams. Others like me, others who have fallen so low with no way to redeem themselves. We will never be allowed back, we will forever be stuck in this hell on Earth—for this place was indeed on Earth. I felt my back ache again and I let out a pained cry, the man laughed. Biting my lip I refused to allow myself to cry out again. I knew the pain that awaits me at the end of this hallway, and I believed I was ready by the time we reach the room.

The dark stone door opened and the screams assaulted my ears. My hands went to cover them, but I couldn't move them because of the chains around my wrists. I was pulled towards one of the posts in the center of the room. I forced my eyes closed as the man cliped my chains to the post so that my back was exposed. He riped off the thin fabric covering my back and I screamed as the cold air hit my exposed wing stumps. The laugh filled my ears again and I thrashed around in order to see the vile man's face.

"Feisty today isn't he?"

"Yes Master."

"Are you sure the new guy can handle him?" I listened silently to the trio of voices. The way I heard Vexen speak it sounded like they weren't sure of the new guy's skill. Was Xemnas really gonna make some new guy risk his life taking me on? I let out a smirk and then hissed when Lexaeus slapped my back under the old wing stumps.

"Don't break him Lex. New guy hasn't even seen him yet."

"Sorry Master" I heard Xemnas sneer and I had to hold in a laugh. My ears focused on the sound of footsteps.

"Your late. Don't be again if you wish to keep your position"

"Forgive me Master. I will be awaiting my punishment in my rooms this evening."

"Good, you understand." Xemnas spoke. I continued to listen. The new guys voice was smooth, though he sounded bored and disinterested with all this. "You will be breaking in little Roxaselle here. The fallen are very feisty, so be careful." I heard more footsteps as most of the men left, leaving the new guy. I tentatively sniffed the air. Besides the smell of blood and fear from the other fallen I smelt him. He smelt of musk, he smelt wonderful. He smelt of Axel. But it couldn't be.

He walked forward and I felt his fingertips run over my arms gently. The touch was like his, the smell was like his, he sounded like him. His fingertips trailed down my left arm, over so many old scars, and towards my own hands. He fingered the crescent moon scar on my left hand and I involuntarily shivered. I heard his laughter, and it forced me to smile. Could it really be?

"Roxaselle? They call you by your full name then?" I gasped as he spoke. It was. I heard his delightful laughter once again and I let myself smile this time. "I've missed you Roxas. It's all my fault your stuck here" The tears slid down my face freely and I felt him kiss my shoulder softly. I shivered again and I heard him laugh once more. His fingers moved to touch my wing stumps and I let out a pained cry as he did. "They clipped your wings Roxas." he muttered and I let out a forced laugh.

"That's what they do to us. They clip our wings so we can't escape. They torture us so we're too afraid to, then they sell us off like common slaves. But you wouldn't know that huh, demon?" I made sure to lace my voice with all of my pain, all my contempt, all my hatred for him. Yet I knew he could hear the love I still have for him. There was no way he couldn't.

"Your right, I wouldn't know that. But I do know they expect me to break you so your too weak to protest when they sell you tomorrow. You understand right? I'm sorry about this" I listened to him speak silently, and when he failed to do or say anything more I nodded softly. I knew what he meant, but if it was him it was bearable. I heard the chains being unhooked from the post and I bit my lip in worry.

I stumbled a bit as I was led out of the room and back towards my cell. He opened the cell door carefully and helped me in. I heard a guard walking down the hall and apparently he did too because I soon found myself being thrown onto the small uncomfortable bed in there. I screamed as I landed on my naked back, letting myself tear up. He walked over to my side and I stared up into those emerald green eyes, as apologetic as they were, and I smiled at him softly. I bit my lip and looked away, forcing my eyes closed when he shed his clothing. His fingers touched my face gently, wiping away my tears. His lips touched mine gently and I allowed myself to submit to the kiss, focusing on the feeling of his lips on mine instead of the pain I knew was coming.

I screamed, loudly. The pain was horrible. Much more then I had expected. It had been far too long. He didn't give me time to adjust. I heard the sick laughter outside the cell and I understood why. Of course, Xemnas was not an idiot and would not leave new guy alone with me. I felt myself start crying and I let myself continue. This was horrible. I had thought the whippings were bad, I had thought the cutting was worse, and I had thought having my wings clipped again was the end of the world. This was 100 times worse then all of that, simply because it was Axel that was doing it to me.

Footsteps soon walked off as the guards left. The movement stopped, but the radiating pain did not. I cried out as he removed himself from me. It left me feeling both empty and horrible, and in more pain then when my body was trying to adjust itself to him. His lips slowly came back to my mouth and he delicately kissed me, apologetic. A single tear landed on my cheek and I forced myself to laugh.

"You don't have the right to be crying" I could hear my own voice break as I spoke and I knew he could hear it to—I also knew how wrong those words were. I let out a whimper as I attempted to sit up, pulling myself up using his arm as an anchor. I noticed the chains had been removed from my wrists, but I didn't recall when. I kicked my legs to test whether my ankles were chained or not. They weren't. I felt no chains on me.

"I'm so sorry Roxas. This wasn't supposed to happen" At his words I simply broke again. My hands on his arm tightened and my nails dug into his skin. He went to wrap me into his arms tightly. "I do have slightly good news however. Cloud has revealed to me that at tomorrow's auction he plans to buy you himself."

"How is that good news!" I demanded with a frown.

"Simple, at least you'll know your torturer this time"

"It's easier to hate a stranger" I muttered with a frown. He sighed and held me tighter against him. I began to cry again into his chest. He soon pulled away from me though, standing up quickly.

"I will see you again, I promise you." With that he smiled and went to place something in my hand. He walked off quickly and left me in the cell. I opened up my hand and stared down at the locket in my hand. I wondered what had happened to it. He must have taken it from me while I was staying at the mansion and healing. Why was he returning it now though? I opened it up silently and flipped it over to the picture of us together. A little piece of paper fluttered as it fell out and into my lap. I went to pick it up and smiled reading Axel's clumsy and yet fancy writing spelling out three words that had my heart fluttering.

"I love you too" I whispered to myself.

~!~!~!~!~

The sun blinded me as we were all led out of that hell on Earth. The guards—two to a person—phased us through the ground and to the Underworld. We were led through the inferno that was the area the demons lived in, avoiding the bubbling pools of magma which sprouted up everywhere. We were brought to the edge of the town there, and towards the large castle. The auctions are held in the ballroom of the castle.

We were lined up like cattle, treated like animals. At least they had the decency to let us keep our names—written out on boards that were hung around our necks along with other various information about us. A crowd surrounded us. I could see Axel in the crowd, standing beside Cloud. The man was standing there with a smirk as his face as he looked us all over. Axel eyes were downcast, as if the ground his feet were standing on would move on it's own if he stared at it enough. I knew he was just trying to avoid my eyes. He would be much too upset if he saw me.

One by one, we were sold as the auction began. I watched the greedy and perverted demons as they paid hundreds upon hundreds of dollars for us. I watched the unseeing and unfeeling faces of my comrades as they were pulled away by their new owners. And through this all I saw Cloud keep his eyes on me, waiting for the moment I was pulled aside for sale.

Finally, I was the last one to go. The second I was pulled aside he stepped forward, Axel on his heels like some sort of puppy dog. When had he fallen to that point? He used to be so proud, refusing to admit as we raised Cloud that the boy was more powerful. As a child he scoffed at me when he found out who I was, saying he would never bow to me. When I saw him step forward on Cloud's heels I longed for the proud Axel to return, the one who was not whipped like this. He looked up and I could see horror in his eyes, I knew then that Cloud was not going to save me. I heard the blonde's voice, proclaiming that I was his. With that alone, I was sure my fate was sealed.

~!~!~!~!~

I have to admit now, my life with Cloud was not bad considering everything else I had gone through. After Cloud took me from the auction I was escorted to a room in the castle. I had my own room, and it wasn't a stone cell. My room had a window, a nice view overlooking the molten lava that bubbled up right outside the castle in what I had soon learned was an execution ground. I watched about a week after my arrival as a young human man was flayed alive while Cloud stood there laughing. I watched the next week as three men were beheaded, and then a few women were torn apart by the pear—dying slowly and painfully of internal injuries. During all of it, Cloud stood there laughing, Axel standing by his side like a bitch afraid of her master's hand.

In actuality I was the bitch. The boy I had raised had turned into a man, but he had come to the Underworld when he was still malleable and it had changed him for the worse. I was forced to become a bitch in our new relationship, and there was nothing I could do to stop Cloud from raping me every night. I was nothing to the man but a sex slave.

It was still better then before. I had a room for myself, I was being fed a solid three meals a day. Cloud periodically allowed me to send the servants to buy things from the market I wanted, and I used these opportunities to buy Axel little gifts which the servants snuck to him. It wasn't much, but I knew it made him happy to know I cared for him still.

After about a year he began visiting me when Cloud was busy. He would sneak into my room and we would curl up together on the bed—but we never did anything for fear that Cloud would know. The most I allowed him to do was kiss me, and even then I was so on guard I could not bring myself to enjoy it. The threat that Cloud would walk in and punish us both—so that I or Axel was the next to face execution under my window—always was looming over my head. Then one day he asked me to do the impossible.

He came to my room with a wicked grin on his face. He came over and wrapped his arms around me, and we simply laid like usual for a while. When he had to pull away he turned to me after standing up, and that's when he spoke.

"When the midnight bell tolls I'll be waiting for you in the courtyard. You'll find me by the stone fountain."

"I won't be able to get away Axel."

"You will" he said confidently. I watched as he reached into the pocket of the jacket he was wearing. He pulled out a small vile with a strange liquid in it. The smell of coconut filled my nose as he uncorked the vile. The topaz colored liquid sparkled in the artificial light in the room. "He takes his dinner in here and eats with you right? Slip him this in his drink."

"What is it Ax?"

"Something Vexen cooked up in his lab for me. Kami-sama won't even know what hit him Roxas. Give him that and when he falls asleep come to the courtyard. I'll be waiting for you Roxas" Before I could reply he had left. I looked at the uncorked vile in my hands and sighed smelling coconut before I re-corked it.

I didn't know if I could do what Axel wanted me to. I started thinking and sighed. Of course Axel wanted me to kill Cloud. Did he really care for me at all or was he just using me to claim the throne for himself? If Cloud passed then the throne went to him.

I held the vile in my hands tightly, staring at it with both what must have been a disgusted look and a contemplative look. I swallowed a bit and looked up at the doorway when I heard footsteps, quickly hiding the vile in my robe pocket. The door opened and I looked up to stare into the blue eyes of Cloud's face, the boy I had raised with Axel since he was just an infant. He strode over to my side and sat down in his usual seat in the plush chair by my bed, two servants following behind him with a tray of food each. One tray was set on the bed in front of me, and the other on the bed in front of Cloud as he pulled the chair up to the end of the bed. This was how we always ate dinner. I thought about the vile in my robe pocket as the servants left and Cloud reached for the glass of wine. I somehow instinctively knew that if I opened the vile the smell would alert Cloud. So I didn't even think about it. I just ate silently and waited. When dinner was over I was depending on Cloud to make another move, to use me tonight like he did every night. I knew I had to kill Cloud, and the best way was to poison him while he slept. Nine times out of ten when Cloud was done he didn't bother to leave my room. I was counting on this not being the tenth.

We ate silently together, as was usual. As soon as Cloud was done the trays were taken away whether or not I was done—but I always was. There was no way I was gonna let any of that precious food go to waste.

I watched wearily as Cloud stood up once done, the servants walking in to take our trays away. He crossed over to me and I found myself being pushed down onto the bed, my robe expertly being slid off of my lithe frame. If I could I would fight him off, but I knew if I could I would not have, and if I did I would lose everything. I allowed everything to fade, it was not Cloud who was touching me brutally as if he would never have another chance to—no it was Axel's fingertips dancing across my milky skin and we were back at home at the mansion with all the time in the world, we were immortal so why would we need to rush? I was able to ignore the pain this way. I longed for the warmth of Axel's arms around me instead of the cold that seeped off of this man's body. I longed for the smell of Axel's Egyptian musk body oil he always used, I longed to hear his voice calling my name like he always did.

Cloud finished with me, instantly falling asleep beside me on the bed. I pulled by legs up to my chest and cried silently for a few moments. I opened my eyes and turned them towards my discarded robe. Shakily I stood to my feet and pulled the vile from the pocket. I turned to face Cloud, and I forced all my hatred up so that I did chicken out of this. I walked back over to the bed and opened the vile. I poured the liquid down Cloud's open mouth, closing his mouth and holding it closed so he was forced to swallow it. I watched as he shook violently then—5 or so minutes—before he just stopped. I couldn't hear a heart beat, I couldn't see the gentle rise and fall of his chest as he breathed. I silently prayed Axel would protect me as I walked to my closet and fished out a warm set of clothing.

I ran out of that room and never looked back. My feet propelled me forward towards the courtyard, and the second I saw it I ran for the fountain. As I reached it I heard the bell ring—announcing it was midnight. I didn't see him anywhere. I sat down with a frown on the edge of the fountain, gasping when I was pulled into someones arms—instantly struggling. They couldn't have found out about Cloud already, could they? I held in my scream when I smelt Axel's musk, and I stopped struggling.

"Sure took you long enough to figure out it was me" he said with a chuckle. He bent down so that my feet touched the ground again. I whirled around while still in his arms, crying again. I didn't know I had it in me to kill someone.


	9. Chapter 8

_**Chapter 8**_

His emerald eyes glanced over me and I frowned staring down. I felt uncomfortable in this place, with all eyes on me. Sure, every eye had been on me before in other—much worse—circumstances and I hadn't been disturbed then. But this was different now. I wasn't being punished, I was being praised. I had always been a very modest person, the reason I gave up my title in the first place. Now here Axel presented me in front of the Underworld Council. I was to be given an ordinance for my actions against Cloud—a tyrannical dictator who caused the entire Underworld to live in fear of unlawful retribution for the simplest of actions. He caused everybody to live in fear, and for that I was being praised for being the one to kill him. Vexen earned his praise for the poison being of his own creation, but the majority of it went to me.

The praise had me nervous. Never had I been given so much attention from so many people at once. It had my head swimming in nervousness. It was the nervousness which had my stomach spinning and made me feel as if I was going to barf. Axel's arm was strong around my waist, holding me up. He must have sensed I was either going to faint or upchuck.

The body had been discovered the morning after, that's when the servants who brought me my breakfast every morning came with the tray. I was in Axel's arms as the body was removed from my room, standing there in the hallway. Later Axel explained that my face was the exact opposite of my emotions at the time. I was nervous standing there, afraid the guards would turn on me before Axel could be instilled on the throne. It was this fear that consumed me, for I knew that if the Council of the Underworld decided to punish me it would be far worse then everything else I had gone through in my life. I was scared, but Axel said I looked proud of myself. He said that my face was stoic, emotionless—far different from my usually expressive face. I didn't quite believe him, I think he was just trying to make me feel better about everything.

My wing stumps had been removed the day after Cloud's body was discovered, this way I could heal. At first I wasn't sure if I wanted to remove them. It's kinda like this: take years of discomfort that would fade in and out every once in a while, or take two huge helpings of pain—one to remove the wing stumps and one when the next pair grows in. I guess Axel was the one to persuade me to take the two helpings of pain, it was remembering how often we would lay in bed together with him just running his fingers over my wings and me remembering how erotic the feeling was that made the decision for me.

We spent the weeks between my stumps being removed and my wings beginning to grow back in bed together. There was no sleeping—we did not truly need to sleep and it was only a habit we had developed while trying to fit in with the humans. Our bodies healed fast, so there was no need to rest between sessions to ensure I did not ache. We had years of lost time to make up on, and we took care of it quickly.

When my wings grew back I decided that each time increased the pain. When my first pair grew in the pain wasn't that bad—standard for a wing growing. The second time it seemed worse, and this time seemed 10 times worse then the second time. I blamed Axel that my body was being wracked through with pain that was worse than labor pains, at least I imagined they must have been. I've watched women give birth before, I worked as a nurse for some of the time on Earth. I screamed as they screamed, though I was sure mine were louder. I completely blamed Axel. I never realized the pain of this event would flip the switch in me that started the delicate dance on a thin line nobody ever wants to dance on—after all the pain I've gone through in the past years you would think I would have already been dancing on that line.

It would be a few years before I lost my step and fell on the wrong side of the line.

~!~!~!~!~

Axel's eyes followed me as I paced through the room. There was no way I could say yes, was there? I stopped, taking the locket around my neck tightly into my hand and going to open it, staring at the picture of Axel and I together by the tree. It was really a beautiful picture, and we looked really happy. I began to wonder if I should agree to Axel's idea, surely it would ensure that the happiness on our faces in this picture would reappear to us? If I agreed would I be truly happy again? But if I said yes I would be taking back everything I had willingly given up, if I said yes I would have to tell Sora I was alive. Did I really want to burden him with the knowledge I had been through so much, was it better for him to think I was dead?

I sighed and turned to Axel slowly. I smiled softly and there grew a huge smile on his face. I sighed at the look, I couldn't resist it. I knew I had my own pouts and looks that I had grown to learn from Sora, pouts and looks which Axel couldn't resist. That smile on Axel's face was one look I couldn't resist from the demon. With a small smile I walked over to the bed he was still sitting on and leaned forward to kiss him softly.

"Well?"

"Fine, Ax. Just, if I accept you have to let me do what I want. I won't accept limited power"

"I didn't plan to limit your power. In fact, I wanted you to accept so we could rule together. I won't make a single decision without speaking with you first, and as long as you don't oppose me publicly we'll be fine."

"Fine, but first order of business is that I want to move some of the angels down here. For their own protection, you understand right?"

"Of course"

Within the week everything was official. I had been given the title of Kami-kun. I was 'introduced' to Sora, and I told him then and there I no longer thought of the city above the clouds as my home. We were nothing but formal, I did not want to upset him in the long run. With this new title we could not truly be brothers anymore. I knew that Axel was older then I, and so he would be the first one to go. I would become Kami-sama, and there would be another war. Fate had declared it that two brothers could never rule side by side—she had proven that generations ago. Everyone had been ruled by the first Kami's together, one nation with two brothers as the ruler. They fought, and one of them was killed. It was never war, and the next generation was my father and Cloud. The First Schism War. We grew up calling it the first because we knew there would be another. I could feel it looming on the horizon, but I ignored it for the most part.

Axel accepted my idea to start a protection program of sorts with the angels. We opened up the old mansion and allowed them to stay there if they didn't feel safe in the Upperworld. I personally moved Zexion and Demyx down to the Underworld. Zexion settled in right away at the library, and with the stress of having to hide who he was gone he and Demyx were completely happy together. Knowing my friends were happy, somehow I was able to be happy as well.

Axel grew distant though. The announcement of my title had shaken up the Underworld, and none of the demons were happy. They refused to have a Fallen ruling them. I spent most of my days holed up in the library, watching as Zexion accustomed himself to the layout of the large place and watching as Demyx made a complete fool of himself everyday as he tried to get Zexion's attention. We continued to work on Demyx's book—which he said he never finished because Zexion had been too scared to help him with it. Since we would be publishing it down here there was less editing to do, but we found it was a good way to occupy our time. That is how I spent the day those first few months as Kami-kun.

The nights were spent in the bed Axel had in his room. I had my own room, but I never slept in it and it served as nothing more than storage. We may have made up for lost time, but we were ensuring that we had a head start. I grew used to the soft touches again, his fingertips gliding over my now pallid skin and running through my hair softly. I grew once again used to the feelings of my wings shuddering under his touch, and of the feeling of his lips gently—ever so gently—running along my neck. He was so gentle, as if afraid he would break me. It was a welcome change from what I had grown used to over the years, and I was happy he was so thoughtful of me. We did not have sex, we did not even make love. It was something more then that, something so much deeper. And yet I felt I was still not truly happy.

I began to wonder if I would ever be truly happy again.

~!~!~!~!~

Our minds are like pinatas—colorful. And like a pinata it is easy to break the mind of an angel or demon. When it does break there are many surprises inside. One day the stress would become to much for me.

The demons soon settled down, dropping their proverbial pitchforks when they came to accept me. We put my plans into complete motion, creating a small living are in the Underworld just for the angels I was determined to protect. If I had my way none of them would be harmed again. I knew even then that it was a pipe dream, but it was a pipe dream that Axel was allowing me to pursue. He did too much for me, and I didn't even realize it. I took it all for granted, believing nothing would ever change between us.

One day it changed. It was the day I realized just how stressed I had become with the title hanging over my shoulder once more. Thing was, because this was not my birth title there was more expected of me out of it. I could not simply relax and be myself. I was constantly being watched by the Underworld Council. They were waiting and watching for some sign, some small slip up that would prove to them that I was not fit for the title I had been given. If they found it they would take things into their own hands—and by things I meant me. I did not want the fear that filled my heart constantly still to become a reality. The fact that this Council might intervene had me on edge at all times, and I was jumpy all the time.

Zexion kept trying to reassure me, what would they find to hold against me? In reality there was not anything for them to hold against me, but I was constantly scared nonetheless. I could not tell Axel of my worries, in fear that he would call me weak or remove the title from me completely so I did not stress too much. That had me more scared then anything. Axel needed an heir, and it would be selfish of me to refuse to be that heir.

So I let the stress continue to eat away at me. It was the worst thing I could have done, cause it just became too much.

~!~!~!~!~

I sat down at the table in the library, Demyx across from me with his manuscript spread out. Zexion was busying himself with the various demons using the library at the moment. I think Axel was somewhere trying to get some work done. As Demyx rewrote a couple sentences I had told him to I just sat there silently, thinking of everything and nothing. Zexion's hand waving in front of my face drew my attention and I turned to stare at him where he was now sitting down at the table—staring at me in concern.

"Why you looking at me like that?"

"Rox, Demyx just spent 10 minutes calling your name to try and get your attention and I was about an inch from slapping you. Why you fading out so much?"

"Yeah, Roxas. You've been doing it all the time lately." Demyx said with a frown. I glanced to the empty table in front of him. Had I really been blanked out so long that Demyx had put everything up already?

"Maybe you should try to get some sleep. I hear it helps humans relax and calm down" Zexion said softly. I sighed but nodded, standing up.

"It's worth trying. I'm gonna head on out, guys. Catch a bite for lunch and then take your advice and have a nice midday nap—been a while since I slept" I said with a small chuckle. They continued to watch me in concern as I gathered up my own stuff and went to walk out. I walked along the hall towards Axel's room to set my stuff down, before turning in the other direction and towards the kitchens.

On the way through I bumped into Marluxia—the young pink haired demon bowing quickly to me before hurrying out a side door. I knew he had been working with Vexen on something for a while now, but I didn't know what. Axel had told me not to worry about it, so I hadn't. I ignored him as we walked—no point in trying to apologize for quite literally bumping into him when he was already gone. As I reached the kitchen, I saw Demyx had beaten me here, a frantic look plastered into his eyes. I immediately asked what was wrong and then he smiled.

"Nothing is wrong at all, Roxas. Your brother is here to see you." Oh joy! You couldn't hear the sarcasm there but trust me, it was full of sarcasm. Lately I found myself saying almost everything with at least a small hint of sarcasm. Demyx just chuckled and tossed me an apple before pulling me off and out of the kitchen.

We found Sora in the parlor of the large castle. It was a small room, formal but welcoming. Axel said it used to be used in the beginning days of the Kami's. Now it just existed to be there, and only when we had had very important guests—like now. I knew Sora was probably here as my brother and not as a Kami however. He was sitting on the large couch, an idiotic smile on his face as he stared at me. I simply raised an eyebrow and smiled at him. He stood up and moved to wrap me in his arms.

"You look so well, Roxas. There's color returning to your face." I moved to touch my red cheek with a sigh. It wasn't color at all, it was the burn from the heat of the lava which my body still hadn't become adjusted to. I didn't tell him this, figured it was better to let him live on with some false belief in my well being then to tell him the truth. I was close to being miserable here, but lets never tell him that, kay?

"Why are you here Sora?"

"To tell you about my newest proposal" Sora said with a small smile. He leaned forward to kiss my cheek before dragging me towards the couch so we both could sit down. He smiled once more at me before speaking, a smile on his face.

"I have recently decided to come out."

"Oh good lord! Please tell me you did not just say that!" I suddenly screamed at him. He recoiled a bit from my tone, fear on his face.

"Rox, nothing is going to happen to me. I..I have to do this."

"Why?"

"Because...Riku said so. He told me that if I don't make it so we don't have to hide anymore he refuses to continue going out with me. Roxas, you have to know how much I need him now that you're not around. He's the only one who knows the real me around there. I mean, you refuse to come back and you took Zexion and Demyx with you. Zexion was our caregiver, you are my brother, and Riku is the love of my life. I can't lose him too."

"What about dad?" A suddenly stricken look appeared on Sora's face.

"Nobody told you yet?"

"What do you mean?"

"Roxas, dad died a long time ago. It was shortly after they took you away. Dad heard about it, and he broke. His heart broke and it left him weaker. He died of a broken heart, died worrying about you. According to one of the maids the last words out of his mouth were to pray for your soul." Sora whispered. I couldn't help but let my heart cry out for my father. He had always been busy when Sora and I were young, the nation was still new and he had a lot to do to strengthen it after the Schism War. We had been left in the care of various angels, babysitters in a sense, and Zexion was the most frequent. It was inevitable that we would both come to think of the teenager as member of the family. I had never been too close to either of my parents because of my father's busy schedule and the fact that he never wanted anyone to know Aerith was our mother. She had been his mistress ever since before his wife died in the war. Now the knowledge that my father was dead left in me a strange hole I hadn't expected would ever be there. I guess today that the hole came to be because I felt guilty. He died because he was worrying about me. Sure, he was weak and would eventually die anyway, but it was my fault he died when he did.

Sora's arms wrapped around me, holding me tightly into his warm body. I cried silently, letting everything out as he held me. That day, I broke in my younger brother's arms. I let him comfort me, and when he had to leave he left a shell of a boy behind. The pinata had broken, and everything would soon rush out.

I was insane now, and Axel would soon be driven insane by it as well. His next actions were because of my new insanity.

~!~!~!~!~

I was sitting in the bedroom, a book on my lap. I wasn't reading it though. I was biting my nail nervously. After what I had said to Axel earlier I was hiding. In a strange—but not uncommon nowadays—fit of every emotion from anger and hatred to love and sorrow, I snapped at him. I was a fool who said what was actually on my mind instead of the sugar-coated lies everybody really wanted to hear.

When the door to the room opened and Axel walked in, a depressed look on his face, I was not surprised. He crossed over to the bed silently, ignoring my presence as he went to reach over the bed to get his phone off of the bedside table. If he was reaching for his old cellphone I knew that he probably was going to make plans with his butler to return to the mansion. Or maybe he was sending me away. I jumped to conclusions and chose the latter.

"Don't you dare send me away!" He turned to me with a slight frown, not replying as he flipped open his phone and went to walk out. When he left I went to grab onto the pillow, screaming into it loudly. I was sure there were servants out in the hall who heard me, and my suspicion was confirmed when a maid scurried in silently to check on me. I looked up at her and she simply smiled before handing me a bottle of vodka.

"Master Zexion said you might need it" she explained before running out. I sighed as I opened the bottle and went to take a gulp. I smirked as I felt the liquid running down my throat. It was a hollow solution to a much deeper problem, and the fact that I couldn't physically get drunk wasn't much of a help anyway.

When Axel returned I was laying on the bed sobbing. I had buried my head into the pillow after tossing the empty vodka bottle angrily against the wall. Everybody must have been getting tired of my mood swings now. I didn't know he had walked in until I felt his hand sliding under my shirt and rubbing the tense muscles there. I rolled over silently to face him, smiling silently when he pulled me into his arms. I let him comfort me, thinking of how horrible I must be treating him lately for him to even be considering sending me away. I buried my head in his shoulder, hearing vaguely as the door opened and a pair of footsteps sounded through the room. I didn't think about it, because Axel was holding me in a way he hadn't for a few weeks.

I didn't think about it until I felt a hot hand on my back. I whirled away from Axel's arms to stare at the intruder. Marluxia smiled at me, before placing his hand on my forehead. I cried out within seconds at the feeling of my head being torn apart. It felt like a veil was lifted from my brain, and as it did thousands of images—years and years of dreams—ran past my eyes within seconds. The veil on my dreams was gone, but a subtle mist spread behind my eyes—a black mist that suddenly made me very tired. I felt it congealing onto masses in my head I hadn't known existed, but I quickly blacked out.

I would wake up in a few days, but I wouldn't be the same person. I wouldn't be the same person for a long while. Unfortunately, I don't have the time to tell you the rest of my story now. Maybe someday soon I'll tell you the rest of the story.

* * *

Finally! The main story is finished!

Now, I hope everybody enjoyed the last few chapters of Unredeemable Sin. I can't wait for everybody to review!

Anyway, I'm gonna get to work finishing up the short sequel. I'm rewriting it and then typing it. Everybody take the poll on my page so I can know what to call the sequel.

I may have worked longer on Arigato-but this story is no doubt my favorite project. I hope everybody has enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.


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